Thoughts on sex and relationships   Leave a comment

I am addicted to sex. Not as much as I was when I was younger but, I still GREATLY enjoy a romp in the hay. I don’t think my libido has waned, I’m just as prone to fantasize and masturbation as before but, I’m just not in as good shape as I once was and my body has had more than it’s fair share of painful encounters. Funny, that phrase. So many of my experiences, sexually, were pleasingly painful. I would seek out clubs where I could get my “fix” of endorphines. What I loved was a good flogging and shagging. THAT was heaven!

Since getting married, I’ve had a lot of health issues that put a damper on sex. Mostly because my dear husband doesn’t want to harm me. He’s seen the daily pain I sufffer and doesn’t want to cause me any more. I can’t get it through his head that a hard romp is JUST what I need! He’s a darling man whom I love more than ife itself but, for me, sex is not love. I guess it’s because of my life of sex but I think you can love someone and never have sex with them and vis versa.

 I think it’s a sad crime that so many women keep their husbands from having mistresses. My husband had an affair, a one time blowjob from a family friend. It took four years for him to tell me. Nom that’s not entirely true. He NEVER told me, SHE did. I wasn’t angry about the sex, hell no, I was angry becase for four years he LIED to me! I woke him that night with oral to completion and after I was done, I crawled from the covers, in the darkness and asked “who’s better, her or me?” He didn’t have a moment to think before he said “you, of course” No denial, he KNEW he’d been caught.

 For weeks afterward I was in a funk and my best friend asked when I was leaving him. I told her I wasn’t to which she replied “if he were MY husband..” I stopped her with “well, he’d better be greatful you AREN’T” I’m open for a house with more than one wife. I think it’d be great to have someone else to watch the kiddos while I grab a quick slip under the sheets! I just NEVER want to be lied to again damnit! It’s not fair and it caused a lot of distance between my hubby and I for no reason. Our marriage, though still strong, has wavered in intensity due to the lies. I never know when I can believe him now and that SUCKS.

Lately we’ve been fighting more and he’s even walked out once. I fear his leaving but if it happens I’ll not go off the deep end. I’ll go on and find another or just get a few younger boyfriends that can keep it up 😛 Not that hubs has that issue, oh no, just the opposite. He’s horney a LOT but has been reluctant to initiate sex. He used to. Before the kids, I was his little slut, his sex slave of sorts and I LOVED it. Then we married and I got pregnant. I swear marriage fucks up a relationship faster than anything in the world. Except maybe kids.

I’ve thought of getting a lover, a woman preferably. Not that I dislike men, I LOVE a good hard… mmm yeah… anyway, I just want a girlfriend. Someone soft and warm, that I can pleasure without the demands of most men. It’s gotten where I HURT when I’m plowed by my man and it’s not a good hurt. I endure sex with males right now till I can figure out, with my MD whats wrong NOW. Truthfully, I miss a womans touch.

Posted February 7, 2012 by I'm taking a nap in Memoirs

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