Archive for the ‘pain’ Tag

Childhood memories   2 comments

Chapter 1

Childhood?

My childhood was far from ideal. Most times I think of little girls having baby dolls and pigtails, pretty pink rooms and strawberries on their bed sheets. I had the strawberries and pigtails. My room was a pretty soft pink after we moved into the house when I was eight. From the outside, I looked like a happy child and I was. For a little while.

I went to school like every other child. My mother packed my lunch because of allergies. I played softball and went to gymnastics, tried out for the tennis team and cheer squad. I remember having to take that stupid fitness test and running around the football field for a grueling half hour and almost passing out. Late spring in Texas is NOT the time to be running like that!

We would go to the beach frequently. Watching the ships floating serenely down the ship channel was my favorite part. They were going somewhere exciting. Somewhere away from where I was in my misery. I desperately wanted to go with them. I went to the docks often and would talk to the sailors about places they would go or sit and watch the ships.

Before we moved near the ship channel, we lived in Baytown, Texas. We lived in a mobile home near the back of the park, by the woods. I remember spending hours on end in those woods. We chased the “fog truck” that would come by spraying pesticides to kill the relentless mosquitoes. I wonder how many of my health issues now can be traced back to then.

I remember the first time I was molested. The washing machine was olive green and it matched the rest of the bathroom. I’d gotten sick all over my favorite dress and he’d taken me in to wash me up. He got my dress off and put it in the washing machine. After starting it, he lifted me up and sat me on the machine. I thought it was a little weird but it was ok because he was my daddy and he did weird things all the time. They were fun and, at 6, everyone loves fun. I remember the feel of the cool washrag, it was hot outside so it felt nice. I remember giggling when he touched me through my underpants because I didn’t get barf in my panties and when I said so, he told me he wanted to make sure I was all clean. The smell of detergent was strong and I felt suddenly sick. Not like bad sick, scared sick. He didn’t go further than touching that first time but I remember him showing me his peepee and how big it looked. I said something about him being bigger than my brothers (we took showers and baths together all the time) and he laughed, telling me that was why he wouldn’t do anything to me with it yet.

Not long after that, my father became “born again” and we started going to church. We went ALL the time and I had to wear long sleeved dresses, past my knees and neckline higher than my collarbone. I was a good girl, I sang in the choir, went to girl scout meetings at the church, helped the ladies clean the sanctuary and oil the pews. I even went to church camp and sang solo parts in a play the church hosted. Life was perfect… for a time.

One day my dad came home from church where he’d been to see the pastor. He felt he’d had a calling to be a missionary. The pastor didn’t think he was ready or something and told him he wouldn’t back him. We never went back to that church again, hat I can remember, and we moved shortly afterward to the first real house we’d ever lived in. Up till then, all I’d known was mobile homes or military housing. I was soon going to a school nearby and had friends. My grandmother lived a block from us and we spent many Christmases at her house with her.

From the time we moved into the house till after I left home, my father molested me. I was 9 when he started making weekly trips into my room to “tuck me in” He told me many times that if I told anyone, he’d kill my mother and my little brother. To prove to me that he could, he dismembered my kitten in front of me. I was 11 when he did that and I still remember the mewling of my kitten 30 years afterward.

When I was 12 my father came to me one night and asked me if I really wanted to get some extra money for something I wanted to buy. I was excited at the prospect so I said yes. He kissed me and smiled then walked to the light switch and turned it off. I heard the familiar sound of his belt buckle hitting the floor and my body went numb. I knew what was going to happen next so I “left”. I went to the corner of my room, looking at the people on the bed, and waited till he was done. For a year, at least, I’d been disappearing into myself when he’s visit me. When he tucked the covers over my shoulders, he turned to leave and drew his wallet from his pocket. Pulling a 20 from his billfold, he chuckled and placed it on the dresser by the door before leaving.

This went on till I was 15. My older brothers best friend and I ran away together. He was 20 and had a car so, one day I wrote my mother a note and left it on my nightstand when I left for school. I had packed my clothes in my backpack and went to the bus. I had made plans the night before, with my boyfriend, to run away. He knew that my father was hitting me, he had seen it with his own eyes that night when my father beat me because I hadn’t done the dishes.

We left town around noon. I had skipped out after third period gym and met him at the pool. We went back to his place and packed the trunk with his stuff then headed out. I remember crying because I was afraid for my mother and, about halfway to Amarillo, I remembered it was my fathers graduation night. We got a motel in Raton and slept that first night. I was exhausted and sore from the beating the night before. Johnny was so gentle and sweet. He tucked me into bed and held me protectively, kissing my eyebrow and telling me I was safe. I fell asleep to his voice telling me I’d be safe forever.

Doubting Angel   1 comment

His blue eyes open as he yawns and lifts himself up on his elbow. He smiles sleepily, his voice soft as he speaks “Did you enjoy yourself, my Goddess?” I felt my face grow warm and nod “I guess I  did…. Master” He grins lopsidedly and slides his hand over his hip then over his ass, wincing when he touches the welts “Damn, does it look as bad as it feels?” “roll over on your belly and let me see”

I crawl to the cage and unlock the door. I look at the welts and cringe inwardly “let me get some salve” I start to crawl from the cage when he grabs my ankle and pulls me backward, quicker than I’d thought possible with the wounds he had. He  wrestles me to my back and, somehow, ends up between my legs. He ravages me fast, thrusting hard into my willing body, bringing me to passionate cries of release.

I feel his thick fingers circle my throat, squeezing harder than he’d squeezed before. I look into his eyes and see such fury there that I’m suddenly terrified and start to push him away. He grins at me, an evil grin. I think he knows I know that he’s made up his mind to kill me. His hands squeeze harder and I feel my eyes pulsing with each thrust of his hips, my heart thundering in my chest. I lose consciousness as another orgasm rips through my body.

 

~~

 

I come to to the sound of Andys voice, filled with concern, somewhere above me. I feel like I’m swimming up from the deepest part of the ocean, my body is covered in warmth as I fight to wake up. Something heavy is on top of me, weighing me down and I can’t take a breath. I smell hot copper filling my nostrils, I can taste the blood from somewhere.  All I want to do is breath but the weight is too much.

Suddenly the weight is lifted from me and cold fingers touch my face, brushing the tendrils of hair from my eyes. Andys voice, filled with desperation, fills my ears. “Angel, please, wake up, please be alive, I can’t do this without you!!” I take a deep breath and cough, my blurred vision clearing slowly with the intake of air. My throat throbs painfully and, as I move my shaking hands, I realize I’m sticky and wet.

I lift my hand and see it’s covered in darkness. I don’t understand what’s happened, only that Andy is telling me we have to get out of here. He’s trying to help me up, pulling me by my sticky arm when I see Boss Man, laying on his back, looking up at me, oddly silent. Andy tells me not to look, pulling my face toward him, commanding me to look at him. “We have to leave, now, Angel!”

I stand with his help and he leads me out, the acrid smell of gunpowder and blood wafting through my senses. I’m still not sure what happened but I know that Boss Man is dead. It was his eyes, they were… empty. I start to ask Andy what happened when I hear the sirens in the distance. Andy grabs me by both shoulders and speaks softly “Angel, do you remember what I told you, about what we needed to do if it came to this?” I nodded and swallowed, my head feeling cottony as I fell to my knees. He put his hand on my cheek and disappeared out the back door. It was only then that I realized that he’d had his gloves on.

The sirens stopped outside the house and I staggered outside, covered in blood and naked. I fell to my knees and looked up as the officers ran up to me, guns drawn. I lay on the ground, shivering and whimpering as they shot questions at me. I sobbed out that Boss Man was dead, that he was in the basement, no he was alone, no there was no-one else inside. They covered me with a blanket from one of their cars and went inside to see for themselves. An ambulance came and got me and took me to the hospital.

~~~

Andy was waiting by the phone when the hospital called. I’d given him enough time to get home and clean up before calling. When he got to the hospital, the officers pulled him into a room and questioned him before he saw me. When he came into the room he acted like he hadn’t seen me in weeks, asking what happened, where I’d been, if I as ok. I just cried as his arms were around me. I still had the collar on so I explained, through tears, to everyone within earshot, what had happened. When the officer asked about the marks on him, I told them that he’d made me do that to him and that I would never have done that to anyone.

I think my Communications teacher would have been proud of my performance! They finished with their questions and I was taken upstairs to rest. They allowed Andy to stay with me and we settled into the room. When it was quiet, Andy watching television and I was dozing off, I was suddenly jolted awake by a thought “the money, Andy, what about the money??!” I’d forgotten the bank transfer! He smiled and took my hand in his, patting my hand “remember the account we opened with your fake id?” I nodded slowly as a slow grin slipped over my lips. “all we have to do is transfer the funds into our individual accounts and it’s done. Just wait a week or so, let his money sit and take it out slowly, a little at a time” He explained in a whisper, the television drowning out any possible eavesdroppers. I lay on the bed and nibbled my lip worriedly, there was something we were forgetting…

~~~

A month later, Andy and I were packing the truck to leave.  The money tucked away in the cab, small bills, inside a briefcase. A police car pulls up behind the truck as I was bringing out the last of the boxes. A young officer gets out of the car and walks up to us and asks for id. I take out my drivers license and he looks at it with a nod then hands me a bag. Inside is my gun, the one that Andy had used to kill Boss Man. He looks at me and smiles “I thought you’d like this back, Ma’am” He looks over at Andy who is as pale as I’d ever seen him. He looks around and speaks softly “you know, it’s a nice day for a drive in the country” Andy nods and smiles “ayeah, it is.” The officer tips his hat at Andy and turns to me with a smile “You take care now, Angel” I watch him walk to the car and look at Andy. He shrugs and gets in the truck. I look back at the car and watch as he drives away then get in beside Andy, setting the bag on the seat between us. “what was that all about?” I ask “Don’t know but I’m not sticking around to find out”

When Revenge is Done   Leave a comment

He was tied to the apparatus, face down. His plump ass was in the air and my hand was holding the whip, running the tips of the leather strips across the cooling flesh. I could never have imagined myself being the producer of pain like this. I hated giving pain but I kept telling myself that I was saving his life. I raised the whip and laid the stinging strips across the tender flesh of Boss Man’s ass with a loud whack. His head lifts as the scream rips through him. His body is covered in sweat and his flesh is red from the hours of punishment I’d given him.

Andy has returned from upstairs where he’s been, using the phone to confirm the money has been put in the account. “It’s there, how much longer ya want to spend on this asshole?” He asks as he watches me take out a thin bamboo cane from a pool cue bag. I look at him and grin wickedly “How long was I gone?” “three weeks” he replies, looking at me curiously. I nod and move to the side of Boss Man. The whistle of bamboo through the air is punctuated by a snap as the cane meets flesh. A thin line of blood seeps from the split flesh, like juice from a sliced peach. I’m mesmerized by the redness of it and give it a match, about an inch from the original. He screams, loudly sobbing, as I place a third welt across his already swollen globes.

Andy watches me for a bit, fascinated by the look on my face. “God, Angel, I never knew you liked this kind of thing. You’re practically GLOWING” Blinking, I look at him, uncomprehending. “What the fuck are you talking about?” “You look radiant, Angel. Like you do after a good fuck” He’s whispering, awe oozing from his words. I laugh and look at Boss Mans ass, realizing suddenly that he is dripping blood from the wounds caused by the twenty or thirty lashes I’ve given him. Boss Man is quiet, limp, and pale as death. I check his pulse which is fast and strong. I’m assuming he’s passed out from the pain.

I set the bloodied cane aside and go over to Andy, undressing as I walk. I don’t have to say anything. I can see he’s as turned on as I am. Wordlessly I take down his shorts and kneel before him, taking him into my mouth and sucking his hard shaft into my mouth. After a few minutes, he lifts me up and, kissing me passionately, he lays me on the weight bench and fucks me hard and fast. I erupt over and over, clawing into his back as my legs wrap around him, pulling him in deeper, begging him to choke me. It doesn’t take him long before he’s grunting and spilling his seed deep into me, hands around my throat, making me cum harder than before.

Afterward, he looks at me, eyes wide with disbelief “My God woman, you have changed while you were gone but fuck, I like the changes!!” Breathlessly, laughing, I walk to the bathroom to clean up “yeah, you have no clue, do you” In the bathroom I look in the mirror and start to cry. I HAD changed and it scared me. Who was this person I’d become? Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever imagined I’d beg someone to choke me, especially during sex!! As I slipped into the shower it struck me. I’d actually cum harder while being choked! What the hell was wrong with me??

After I dried off and dressed, I tended to Boss Mans ass. He was pretty bad in a few places so I put antibiotic cream on the wounds and placed gauze bandages over them. I untied him and helped him off the apparatus and to the floor. His legs were weak and he was sobbing as I tended to his wounds. I got him a blanket and pillow and he fell asleep on the carpeted floor, his soft snores filled the basement as Andy and I went upstairs to make dinner.

“What do we want to do after we leave here?” Andy asks over Chinese takeout. “I think we should disappear for a bit” I say, my mouth full of egg roll. “You want to leave state? What about my check? It’s not due for another two days” He looks at me and I smile “Who says we’re leaving before your check gets here?” He shakes his head and chuckles “I think you’re enjoying your payback a bit too much” I shrug and shove a piece of sweet and sour chicken in my mouth so I don’t have to answer.

That night, before we go to bed, I tell Boss Man that he’s our “guest” for the next two or three days and he would be sleeping in the cage. He only nodded. I gave him some of the left over take out but he only ate an egg roll before pushing the rest away. I make sure he’s got a clean bucket and a bottle of water, a pillow and blanket and flashlight. I then make him get into the cage, lock it, and head upstairs with Andy in tow.

After Andy falls asleep, I lay in the bed watching the lights from the cars going by washing over the walls for about an hour. I finally slip from the covers and walk, naked, downstairs to see Boss Man. I open the door and leave it open, letting the light from the outer room illuminate his sleeping face. I look over his body, wincing as I see the bruises and welts that I’d placed on his flesh.

Had I really done those things? Had I really harmed someone I loved?? What did he think of me, now that I’d done these things? I ran my fingers over the collar that was still locked around my throat. Why hadn’t I taken it off? Was it because I WANTED to wear it? Did I truly want to be owned???

What had I become??

Revenge so sweet   3 comments

Andy wants to go to the police but I have a different thought. Revenge. I have Andy take me to a restaurant where we talk for hours about my plan. By the time we pay the check, we’re both grinning evilly. Andy takes me home so I can sleep and he heads off to the hardware store for some needed items. When he returns, he wakes me and we head back to the house I’d been held captive in.

The front door is unlocked and the house is empty when we return, just the way I left it. I enter first to make sure he hadn’t returned early and, after finding the house empty, I open the attached garage and wave Andy inside. We unload the car and I have him take the car to the park half a block away to park it. He comes in the back door and we clean up the broken glass the kids had shattered to get in.

~~~

Two days later, while we sat in the living room drinking coffee, I hear the garage door opening. Andy takes the cups and runs into the bed room while I run into the basement and shut the door. I hear the door lock and footsteps running away. Thank God he is a smart man, I’d totally  forgotten the lock!

I get out some things to make for breakfast, since it was about that time of day and muss my hair so I look like I’ve just gotten up. Just as I hear the key in the lock, I realize I’m dressed! I scurry into the bathroom and quickly slip out of my clothes, cramming them into the cabinet under the sink. I squeek in surprise when he knocks, flush the toilet and wash my hands as he comes in.

His arms slip around my waist and he whispers in my ear “Has my slut been busy while I’ve been gone?” I laugh and turn in his arms, my lips finding his “You have no idea, my Master!” “I noticed you rearranged the bookshelf. I like it” He says as he lifts me in his arms, carrying me by my ass cheeks. I’m giggling and squirming as he grips my ass with both hands, his cock pressed against me, only the fabric of his slacks between us. “I missed you, my sexy Master” I whisper as I nibble his ear. “I missed you too, slut. I brought you something too.”

Out of his carry on bag, he pulls a small velvet covered box with a bow on it. He hands it to me and says “Put it on my beast” He smiles as he watches me open it to find a collar with a dainty gold lock “I can’t wear two collars, my Master” He laughs “put it on and I’ll take off the other one. First, look closely at it”

I lift it from the box and look at it. Gleaming in the lights are the words “Beloved Goddess” made with what looks like tiny blue sapphires. I look at him, my heart heavy. “I don’t deserve this, my Master” He smiles at me and touches my cheek gently “I’ll decide what you deserve, slut. Do as you’re told” “Yes Master” I take the collar and slip it on, the cool metal warming quickly to my skins temp. He takes off the old collar and kisses me, picking me up and carrying me to the counter of the bathroom. He undoes his pants and slips himself into my waiting body. He’s obviously been thinking about me since he left.

He uses me quickly and quietly, biting my collarbone as he fills me, my mind upstairs, thinking about what Andy is doing. He kisses me and looks at me, face perplexed “are you feeling OK my Angel?” “Yes, my Master, I’m fine, why?” he frowns at me and places the back of his hand against my forehead  looking concerned “you didn’t respond well today. Are you sure you’re feeling well?” I look down and sigh “I’ve got a bit of a headache, my Master, that’s all” He looks at me for the longest time then shrugs “probably hungry. Come out here and get something to eat. I smell the coffee you’ve made, maybe that’ll help”

We walk out into the main room and Andy is standing there, waiting, holding a gun. I scream like we’d planned and scurry back into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I’ve done my part but Andy looked like he could pull the trigger and not think twice. Seeing him like that scared me. I hear them talking on the other side of the wall but I can’t hear them clearly. I lay on the floor and stick my ear by the crack so I can hear better.  Nope, nothing. Dammit. I have to go out to hear them.

I open the door slowly, Boss Man has his hands in the air and Andy has moved him away from the bathroom, they are to each side of me, Andy to the left, Boss Man to the right as I step out and look at them both. They are looking at me silently, expectantly. Andy speaks to me and I jump like he’d shot the gun. “Well, should I just shoot him and get it over with or what?”

My hand moves to my throat and feels the collar there. I find tears welling up in my eyes and, for a moment, I can’t breath. Boss Man grins at Andy “I am her Master, she won’t let you shoot me” I look at Andy and see the pain and bewilderment in his eyes as he speaks “Angel?” “I can’t, Andy. I can’t make that call. I love you but he’s right. I love him, he’s my Master”

Boss Man starts to laugh and something in his laughter makes me cringe. Andy raises the gun and he stops laughing “Andy, don’t. Not like this” I plead. Andy looks down the barrel of the gun and growls “we planned this, Angel. I’m not letting you back out now. You don’t know what you’re talking about. Stockholm syndrome is what it’s called. You’re basically brainwashed.” I look at him then at Boss Man who is staring at Andy. I don’t want him to die so I think fast “I know we discussed killing him but what if we did to him what he did to me?” Andy just stares at him “I’m listening”

“We make HIM the slave. I can do things to him like he did to me, make him know how it feels” I’m talking fast, pacing between them. Andy grins slowly as he listens. Boss Man is not amused “I can’t be gone that long, people will miss me, they will look for me and you’ll be caught” I look at him and smile angelically “I’ll just call your wife and tell her we’ve run off together” He erupts with anger “You wouldn’t!! She’d clean out the accounts! I’ll be ruined!!” I shrugged my shoulders and turned to him, calmly “Then I tell you what. You give me twenty thou no, make it forty thousand and I’ll let you go, rich as ever and.. basically.. intact but first, we’re going to have some fun” He looks at me then Andy and the gun “You’re serious” “Deadly” says Andy. He sighs and nods “Done, let me call the bank and we can get this over with”

A bit off the linear story but..   2 comments

With today being the anniversary of 9/11 I thought of what I was doing on this day, that awful morning.

As I lay here in my bed, it hit me that I’ve allowed the attack to continue to bother me and it, in turn, has affected those around me, especially my children.

I was driving down Speer Blvd. on my way to work in my van, listening to the morning talk show. It was a beautiful day, sun shining, birds singing and I’d just left my toddler son with my brother to babysit while I worked. At the crossroads of Lincoln and Speer, the DJs started talking about the Twin towers being hit by a plane and I remember getting mad, yelling at the radio “That’s not fucking funny, assholes” and turning off the radio. I drove the rest of the way to work in silence.

When I got to work, I entered with my usual, chipper good mornings and went to the break room to get some coffee. There were more people in there than I’d ever seen this morning and I commented as such, as I filled my cup. Noone was talking but I heard in the background those awful words “The tower is coming down!”

I looked at the television and sort of went numb. This couldn’t be happening… not here… not now…

I barely remember going into the staff room to get my route. I don’t remember if I even mapped it out. I just remember being in my truck, going through the motions. Every house I stopped at had the news on and it was giving updates. The second tower was down when I stopped at one home, their door was wide open and I heard a woman weeping. Her elderly husband was by the door, tears in his eyes as I said “good morning” He looked at me sadly and shook his head “No… no it isn’t…” I wrapped my arms around his frail shoulders and he wept on my shoulder saying “I never thought I’d live to see this day again… I was at Pearl… this can’t be happening again, no, please tell me this is a dream” I held him for a while, trying to console him but I didn’t know what to say. I was still numb.

When I left him, standing by his flagpole, I saw him lower it to half mast. I got into my truck and started to carry on with my day. I drove, maybe, a half block before the tears started. I could see the flag at half staff and I couldn’t stop crying.

When my boss called to see what was wrong, he told me someone had called in and he was concerned. I told him I was coming back in, that I couldn’t do this today, I needed to go home. He was nice and actually called everyone else back in too. Pickups were cancelled for the rest of the day and the next.

The drive back home was surreal. Cars seemed to be moving slower and more and more I saw the Flag waved from cars and buildings. When I got home, I took my son in my arms and sobbed. My brother, who hadn’t been watching television all day, asked me what happened. When I told him he looked at me, dumbfounded. He whispered something then raced to the television and turned on the news. All he and I could talk about was our little brother who had graduated from boot camp only a year before. Luckily, he was not deploy-able because he was a guard at one of the military prisons but, at the time we didn’t know.

The next day I took my son outside and after a while, he asked where the “ah pains” were. That was his way of saying airplanes. I told him that all the airplanes were sleeping today because they were really tired from flying all the time. He nodded and smiled “Them needs a day off, like mama!” he hugged me tight and ran off to play on the slide.

That next week is kind of a blur for me. I know I went to work and did mommy things but…. they were almost robotic. Then came the day I heard the airplane, flying low. I’d heard that sound only once before and it terrified me. I was halfway between my truck and the home I was to pick up at and dove for the shrubs by the front door. I looked out and saw the biggest airplane I’d ever seen flying low, seeming to crawl across the sky. It had a disc I had never seen before on the top and it scared me so bad that, when he got home, the homeowner found me sobbing behind his bushes.

PTSD sucks. I’ve suffered from it most of my adult life but NEVER like I did after 9/11. It’s taken years to be able to leave my house without a Xanax or three under my belt. Sometimes I hear an airplane today and feel myself start to panic.  My children know about 9/11 but they, I hope, will never feel the terror I felt, halfway across the country from New York. There are theories that our government was involved, that those aboard the planes were plants of our own people but, for me, it doesn’t matter. What matters is that someone destroyed my comfort and my ability to feel safe. The actions in Aurora Colorado, just 20 miles from me reinforced that. Columbine happened while I was a school bus driver only one district away. It makes me truly wonder if anyone is truly safe anywhere.

Especially after the life I’ve led.

Mastered Angel NSFW, ISC, PT   Leave a comment

(NSFW = not safe for work) (ISC = Intense Sexual Content)  (PT= possible triggers)

 

I wake and look around, my eye swollen and painful. I see that he’s been here and left me some food. I must have been in a deep sleep because he’d come into the cage and left a satchel of things by the entrance. I crawl to the satchel and open it, pulling out the items. A hairbrush, hand mirror, some ice packs and a couple of pairs of socks. I look at myself in the mirror and sigh, the eye well swollen and purple. I looked like a prize fighter after he’d gone three rounds with a Mac truck. It wasn’t pretty and I wondered if there wasn’t something broken. I break the first ice pack and shake it, feeling the warmth leave the stuff inside and put it on my face.

Crawling one handed to the basket of food, I grunt with each painful jolt. Panting and covered with sweat, I reach inside to find a couple of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, an apple and a thermos of water. There is a note from him as well and I open the folded paper as I start to eat the apple.

My dear sweet slut,

As you lay there sleeping I feel a sadness in my soul. Your face marred thusly saddens me to the point that I doubt you’ll ever forgive me. I know I’ll never forgive myself. I know it was an accident but you’re damaged. What can I do to be forgiven?? 

I’ve left this small offering for you, in hopes that my Goddess can find it within herself to grant me forgiveness. If not, I may just have to purge myself before her. Perhaps a blood offering would suffice. I shall return soon, my Goddess… I love you.

 

I throw the apple, screaming “Forgiveness?? You want FORGIVENESS?? Let me out of here you asshole and I’ll show you forgiveness!!” Grabbing the bars, I rant and scream for a bit, till my throat is raw and I’m covered in sweat again. Laying on the cover and pillow, food forgotten, I cry myself to sleep again.

~~~~

I wake to the smell of food and the metallic sound of the cage door shutting. I turn over, getting up on my elbow and look at him. He smiles at me and asks how I slept. I just glare at him, silently, for his answer. When I speak, my voice is ragged and croaky. I sound only a fourth as bad as I feel. “Why are you doing this? Don’t you know that I could have you arrested when I get out of here? Are you really this stupid?”

He looks hurt for a moment then sighs “I wish you hadn’t said that, my Goddess. I’m afraid you’ll never be able to leave that cage now. Had you accepted this as a game between lovers then I would have released you.” He turns to leave and I cry out “don’t leave me here you fuck!” He turns to me and frowns then quickly walks to the other room, muttering to himself. He returns with something in his hands that I hadn’t seen since the days on the sheep ranch. It emitted a sharp crackle of electricity as he touched the tip to my upper thigh, his face purple with rage “You  will NEVER speak to me like that again!”

The next thing I know, I’m on my back in excruciating pain. the leg he’d touched felt lie it was on fire and I’m sobbing hysterically. He’s now in the cage and beating me with his fists, in a rage unlike I’ve ever seen him in. He grabs my hair and slams my head on the floor and everything goes black. I wake to him raping me, biting my shoulder as he ravages me. When he sees I’m awake again, he starts to choke me, his hands tighter around my neck with each grunted stroke. My body erupts under him, my fingernails in his ass cheeks, pulling him into me. I silently scream my release and he removes his hands, grunting his seed into my depths. I scarcely feel my leg anymore, only the pleasure he’s giving me. He lays atop me, breathing hard and murmuring “good girl… good little fuck slut” I whimper, my body still needing him to ravage it. I break down in tears and whimper shamelessly “please, please god please fuck me more!” He chuckles and pulls out, replacing his cock with something cold and hard. I react to the object, opening my thighs wider and thrusting my hips wildly, nails gripping the blanket beneath me tightly. He grins like a madman as he rams the object into me harder and harder, hurting me inside. I am past the point of pain, my body erupting over and over with each thrust. He removes the object and I cry out “More, please Master, fuck me more!!”

I’m out of control, my mind has gone someplace else and I hear my voice that of a wanton whore but I can’t stop. Something has snapped and I’m nothing but sex. He replaces the object with something quite a bit bigger and warm. “God it hurts so good, Yes, YES Master please fuck me!” He shoves hard and I can feel him pushing against my cervix. I scream with pleasure when he moves his fingers, stars spinning in my head as my back arches painfully erupting harder than I’ve ever orgasmed before.

I’m a panting, sobbing, mess, weak and shaking, electric shocks traveling through my body. He pulls out and gets up, leaving me momentarily to get a comforter. He covers me and lays beside me, pulling me into his arms. I lay in his arms, sobbing for a while and then begin to kiss his sweaty skin, tears bathing him with each kiss. I kiss his chin and start to kiss his lips when he growls “you have gained the privilege of kissing my lips, slut.” I whimper and kiss him passionately. After each kiss, my whispers of adoration fill my ears “my master….. my Master… I love you so my master!” To my sane mind, it sounded weird but to my addled mind it was as normal as breathing. He had  mastered me and I had lost my ever loving mind!

Caged Angel   2 comments

I walk into the cottage and look around. It’s small and quaint, two bedrooms and a full basement. As I wander the tiny abode, Boss Man is telling me what his expectations are. He wants me home all the time or at least nearby so, when he pages me, I’m home when he gets here. If I have doctors appointments, he wants to know. He’s “taken the liberty” of buying me clothing to wear when I know he’s coming. All the bills will be paid except for the food and I’ll get “a couple” thousand a month for spending money.

He takes me into the basement and I’m shocked to find a room filled with whips and crops, torture devices of all types. I start to turn and leave but he blocks the way. “This is the surprise I wanted to show you, baby. I want to show you how good pain can be.” Before I can protest, he’s pushed me toward a high bench that I fall onto with a grunt. Before I can get my feet under me, he’s clamped one part of the apparatus around my left ankle and is working on the other. I start kicking to get him off me and he’s laughing as the clamp snaps shut on my ankle. I start screaming and he moves before me. Before I can close my mouth, the gag is in place and being tightened. Shaking my head violently, I scream again, tears flowing from my eyes as I start grabbing him awkwardly, pulling him toward me so I can try to get some leverage. The bench has me draped over it like a wet cloth, pressing hard against my belly and I’m terrified. He grabs one arm and wrestles it into the clamp, finally getting it in and snapping it shut, placing a padlock through the holes to secure me. I’m quickly subdued and, breathing hard,  sobbing, I am captive.

He chuckles as he looks me over, sweat dripping from him. “This is how I like you best, my slut. Oh, wait… there’s too much hidden. Whatever shall we do about this??” He asks this as he walks toward the wall full of things I’ve never seen before. He takes down a pair of shears and comes to me. Standing next to me, he begins cutting away my jeans.

After cutting all my clothing off, he caresses my ass and presses his hardness against me “I’m going to show you things you never dreamed of, Angel” I wanted to tell him I had seen this before, that I needed him to stop, but the gag kept me silent. I’m starting to panic because of the first memory to come to my mind. The memory of my dead trick and the days of thinking I was going to die.

His hands caress the globes of my ass, lips caressing my back and sides as his hands find my heated center. Fingers slide inside me, caressing my clit till I’m moaning with desire. Sometimes I hate how easily I’m brought to a full boil no matter what’s happening! He’s murmuring as he works on me, commenting on how sexy I am, how he’s dreamed of today since the first time he laid eyes on me. I’m responding to him with squirms and moans. e moves away from me and takes something off the wall that looks like some sort of clips. crouching before me, he grabs one of my breasts and suddenly I’m experiencing one of the worst pains I have ever felt as he clamps one to my nipple, then the other. I scream in pain as he moves behind me, the chain between my hanging breasts swinging and tugging painfully.

Moving behind me again, he caresses my body with something soft and furry for a bit. He moves to the wall again and takes down a riding crop. I wonder what he’s going to do with it!? He rubs its tip down my spine then, with a crack, I feel it like fire across my ass cheeks. My head raises as I scream again and again, the crop lashing over my ass. “Each lash is for each day you shunned me, slut. I TOLD you that you would pay.”

Stars are invading my head by the time he stops. I’m drenched in sweat and breathing hard, laying over the bench weakly. He then kisses my ass and strokes the welts that are across my flesh. His fingers again caress my clit and, somehow, the pleasure begins to overcome the pain slightly and I’m squirming, then writhing and crying out passionately when my body erupts violently. His cock replaces his fingers and, with each painful, pleasurable stroke, I’m brought to rapture again and again till he fills me full of cum.

He releases me, helping me off the bench and I collapse in his arms, the world going black. I wake moments later with my head in his lap and a warm, soft blanket covering me. His whispers reach my ears before I open my eyes and I’m shocked by his words. “Wake my little slave, my slut. Wake for me and show Master some love” My eyes open and, looking into his eyes, I’m overwhelmed with emotion. I slip from his lap and turn, tears flowing “Why did you do that to me?” “Did you not like it? You seemed to…. after a while…” His fingers find my throbbing nipples and I’m instantly wracked by an orgasm, my body falling forward impulsively, my passionate cries filling the small room.

He chuckles and caresses my head gently “I think your body betrays you, my little beast.” I pull away and growl, breathlessly “Stop that!” He grins at me and gets up. As I kneel on the floor, not trusting my legs, he comes to me and slips a metal strip around my throat. As I ask him what he’s doing, I hear a snapping lock. I crawl away from him, reaching to my throat and feeling the cold metal warming quickly to my body temperature. “What the fuck is THIS??” I cry, looking at him and trying to pull the thing from my throat. With a stern look, he frowns and comes to me, striking me across the face with fist “you will call me Master, cunt. I now OWN you!” I’m laying on the floor, stunned and numbed by his words. Owned…. again…..

He grabs the collar and pulls me roughly to my feet before pulling me toward the other end of the basement. He opens a door and pulls me inside, stumbling. The room is dark and he pushes me in. My foot hits something as he turns on the light. I try to catch myself from falling but there’s nothing to grab but bars and I fall against them, face first. The clang of metal against metal jolts me and I turn as fast as possible, my left eye swelling quickly. He stands outside the black bars of the cage, looking at me “tisk tisk, I’ll get you some ice for that eye.” He leaves as I grab the bars, screaming at him to let me go.

By the time he comes back, I’m sitting on the floor of the cage, weeping. “Don’t cry Angel, it makes your face swell. Oh… I’m sorry, hard to tell with that eye like that” He hands me a bag of ice, wrapped in a towel. “Use that on your eye and I’ll go get you a pillow and blanket. Don’t want you getting cold”

He goes to a chest near the cage and pulls out a soft quilt and thick pillow then threads it through the bars to me. “There’s a bucket for your toileting over there behind you and I’ll bring you dinner, when I return.” I lift my head and look at him sadly “When will that be?” He reaches in through the bars and caresses my swollen face “Soon my sweet, soon” He rises and leaves, closing the thick door behind him.

Looking around the room, I realize it’s been sound-proofed. I sigh and lay down on the hard floor, wrapping the blanket around my naked body. Placing my head on the pillow, I wince from the pain of my cheek.  I think about Andy and cry softly, wondering if I’ll ever see him again.