So, for the past year, I have been sending out query letters and stuff. I got tired of dealing with rejection and decided to publish my book myself!
It went live this morning on Amazon.com for the Kindle version. I also submitted it to CreateSpace to go into their print on demand paperbacks.
I am also working on an audio version. We’ll see how that goes in the future 🙂
Anyway, heres the link, in case you’re interested!
While posting in a conversation on Facebook, Someone made a comment that was directed toward me about my statement that I had been a hooker at one time. She said I was nasty and that she wouldn’t be bragging.
This was my response “People who only see the statement “I was a hooker” assume that whatever degrading words they say will make me feel bad. I don’t. I only smirk and walk away because I know what I went through, I know how strong it made me. The fact that I’m still alive, 20+ years later, a mother of three of the most awesome Denverites in the world, a successful author and teacher, activist for trafficked youths AND still compassionate toward others speaks volumes. Nothing she or anyone else can say will ever change that. I am a better person now because of where I was then.”
This statement actually floored me. The power from that one paragraph brought tears to my eyes. I AM a better person for everything I went through back then and nothing anyone can say will EVER take that away from me.
After a couple of months working with an “agent” I realized he wasn’t actually DOING anything so, I’ve been sending out query letters to many others. My present husband was diagnosed with dementia around Thanksgiving last year and I have been busy taking him to doctors appointments as well as my youngest son who was diagnosed 18 months ago with type 1 diabetes. Life has been rough but I’m almost done with the manuscript and have decided to self publish on Amazon. Seems to me to be the best way to get my book actually out there. Maybe I’ll be lucky like the writer of Fifty Shades of Gray and get someones attention. Here’s hoping.
I plan on having the book on the market by the first of September.
It was my birthday. I languished in bed, warm and safe from the snowstorm outside, drifting in and out of sleep. I opened my eyes and fell in love. A small black and tan fuzzball with a warm pink tongue. Her eyes were barely the size of early peas and the color of black coffee. He placed her on the bed next to me as I slept and I was awakened by a furry snuggler under my chin.
Steve said ” I got her from a guy who was walking down the street with them in a shopping cart. I felt bad about not getting you a present and went out to get one when I saw the puppies. I know how much you love animals so I figured you’d like him” I giggled “um, this is a girl.” He frowned “WHAT?! I told him I wanted a boy” I slipped my arms around the pup and smiled “It’s ok. I’ve always had girl dogs. You did fine” He kissed me and stroked my hair from my eyes lovingly “Good. Now I gotta go get HER some food”
He got on his coat and left while I got up and fixed breakfast. The pup wandered all over the apartment, sniffing and licking everything. “What are we going to call you, little girl?” I asked the dog. She looked at me with those sweet brown eyes and proceeded to pee on the floor. As the urine flowed over the linoleum, I laughed. “Puddles it is then”
When Steve got back home, I informed him of her name. He laughed and shook his head “You gonna have to potty train her then, huh?” I wrinkled my nose and grinned “Yeah, kinda like I did with you huh?” He laughed and hugged me, the dog trying to get between us. I picked her up and hugged her, squirming and whimpering between us.
~~~
Three weeks later, on a warm Saturday that was rare for February in the Rockies, I took her for a walk. Scooter, the cat who was twice her size, walked with us. By this time he had decided the dog was his to guard and went everywhere with her. I walked down Colfax toward downtown, work the furthest thing from my mind. We were going to the park to hang out with Steve while he sold dope.
As I waited for the light to change, I saw one of my regulars at the light. He waved at me and motioned for me to come over. I shook my head and yelled over to him “I’m taking the day off!” I crossed the street in front of his car and kept walking.
He pulled into the alley two blocks down and waited for me to get to him. Getting out of his car, I saw him looking pissed. “No, Angel, you NEED to come with me. NOW!” He grabbed my arm and dragged me toward the car, his grip painful and bruising as my pup was dragged behind. She yelped as she was stepped on and fell.
He suddenly screamed and let me go, jumping away on one foot, as he beat at the cat who had attached himself to the mans calf by tooth and nail. I scooped up Puddles and ran down the street toward Steve and the safety of the park. The cat could take care of himself.
I got to the park, breathing hard from the four block run, and quickly spotted Steve. I raced over to him and told him what happened “You left the CAT there? God DAMNIT Angel, what the fuck’s wrong with you? He could kill him!” He yelled, striking me with his fist before he started toward the corner.
He stopped and stared toward the stoplight at the corner. He started laughing and I followed his line of sight. Sitting there, at the corner, was the cat. Licking his paws and waiting for the light.
I met up with Sandra while walking down Colfax. It was warm and sunny, a beautiful spring day. She and I talked for a while over McDonalds coffee and a shared Big Breakfast.
“You wanna work together today, Angel?” She asked as we walked out of the restaurant. “Sure, why not.” I agreed with a smile “I could use a little distraction today. Maybe someone will want a little sugar and spice!” I laughed and headed down Colfax.
We had only walked a little ways, talking and laughing, flirting with traffic, when they showed up. Red sports car, two smoking hot guys who lean out the window to call us over. “Hey girls, you wanna party?” Sandra looked at me and grinned “Whatcha think sis, we gon play wit these guys?” I laughed and shrugged “Sure”
The passenger got out to let us into the back of the car and the driver says “Where to, girls?” I looked at Sandra with a raised eyebrow. She winked “My place would be cool, if you don’t mind a little drive” The driver laughed and started following her directions.
I’m looking at the driver, my stomach starting to feel sick. I leaned over and whispered to Sandra “I think they’re cops” Her eyes grow wide and she giggled, nervously “Ya think?” I nod and sit back, my stomach doing it’s warning scream as we get closer to her house.
We enter the apartment building, the guys stand over by the car, near the open trunk and my alarm is in overdrive “Shut the door, Sandra” “Why?” She asks “They’re cops, shut the fucking door!” She laughed and shook her head “They’re coming” My hands are shaking and I’m fighting the feeling that I need to run. My legs are getting weaker by the minute. I know better than to ignore my gut.
We enter the apartment and she takes the dark haired one into the bedroom, closing the door. I, nervously, take the blonde to the couch. “We never did talk about money” he says as he slides his hand over my thigh. I grinned impishly and leaned over to him, kissing his exposed neck “I don’t want your money, dear. I just wanna fuck” I slide my hand over his chest, feeling the bulletproof vest underneath. I purr softly “mmmmm a police man? I wondered why someone as handsome as you would pick up a couple of girls”
His partner comes out and says “You got any condoms, Bro?” My guy shakes his head “No, maybe this one does” I feign surprise “Are you kidding? I never carry those things around. What do you think I am, a prostitute or something?” The dark haired one looks at me with a raised eyebrow and smirks before going back into the room and shutting the door.
I turned back to my guy and purr “Now, where were we?” “Well, I guess you’re under arrest….. Seems you’re an accessory to a crime” I jerked back and gasped “What the fuck are you talking about?” He slipped his badge from his pocket as Sandra is brought out in handcuffs, looking ashen and sick. “What do you mean a crime? All I wanted was a piece of ass!”
The men introduced themselves as officers with the vice department, sex crimes unit. I was handcuffed and we went to the car. They drove us to the police station and booked us into the system. They sat us in the holding cell and Sandra looked at me “You knew they were cops. How?” I sighed “My gut told me there was something wrong with them. They were just acting weird” She shook er head “I shoulda listened to you” I chuckled softly “NOW you get a brain. If we ever do this again, you better listen to me” “Trust me, I will!”
The next morning, we are taken downstairs and put before the judge. I stepped up to the podium and the judge asked me to explain myself. “Your Honor, I am pleading not guilty. The arresting officer and I were in the livingroom where I spoke to him. Never did I say I wanted money. In fact, if you listen to the tape, you’ll hear me saying I DIDN’T want any money, I just wanted a piece of ass”
The audience and other prisoners laughed and the judge frowned “You’re saying you aren’t guilty of the crime of solicitation?” “Yes, your Honor, I am” I nodded with a sweet smile. He nods “Wait right there” He got up and says “court is on hold for five minutes while I listen to the evidence” He leaves and I look over at Sandra who is shooting daggers in my direction. I smile and shrug.
When he returned, he seated himself and folded his fingers before him like he was about to pray. “I heard the tape and read the transcript. Young lady, you need to be more careful of the company you keep and don’t get into any more cars with strange men. You’re released as soon as they get the paperwork upstairs. You also have my apologies for the inconvenience. Next case”
I smile and thank the judge before sitting on the bench with the other prisoners. The others looked at me with a mix of admiration, awe and bewilderment. I grinned at them and shrugged. Sandra looked at me with a raised eyebrow. I winked at her as her name was called to go before the judge.
“Your plea” The judge said to Sandra. I could see she was shaking as she spoke softly into the microphone “g..guilty, your honor” “Explain yourself, young lady” She looked up at him with surprise. His eyes kindly looked down at her “Explain why someone with no criminal record would go to this end” She swallowed hard and took a deep breath “Your honor, I am about to be kicked out of my apartment and I was desperate. This was the first time I’ve ever done this and I promise I will never do it again!” Tears formed in her eyes and slipped down her cheeks. “I’m so sorry!”
He nodded and smiled kindly “I believe you are truly sorry and, since I listened to the tape at the same time as the last case, I will grant you leniency, this time. You are released as soon as they get the paperwork upstairs. Next case”
Sandra sat beside me, silently crying, till the court got done with the lot of us. When we got to our shared cell, she hugged me and sobbed into my shoulder “Oh my God, I was terrified! How could you stand there so calm and collected?” I chuckled “I was innocent and I knew I’d done nothing wrong. I just projected that feeling to the court and it helped me stay calm. If I’d cried, they would have known I was guilty of something. In your case, the tears helped. They showed you were remorseful” She hit me gently on the chest and growled “you’re evil” I just laughed and kissed her gently on the lips “You have no idea”
She looked at me, her eyes troubled. She sat on the one cot they had in the cell and patted the spot beside her. When I sat by her, she put her arms around my shoulders and put her head against the side of my neck. I held her, silently till they called our names to be released.
We walked out together and stopped just outside the doors, looking at eachother. “you gonna be OK going home hun?” I asked her, reaching for her hand. She smiled and nodded “I’ll be aight. You?” I shrugged “I can walk home from here, truthfully” She laughed and kissed me softly on the lips “Then start walkin, unless ya wanna take me to my bus” I grinned and took her hand “It’s on the way”
I walk out of the jailhouse into the heat of mid morning. The waves of heat already warping the road, making it look like I’m staring onto the ocean as I wait for the gate to open and let me out. I turn and look at the building, the gate grating across the rough gravel, and vow to never again be caught inside. I walk to the bus stop and sit on the bench, holding the bus voucher they gave me on the way out. The sun feels hot on my skin as I wait, wondering where the hell I’m supposed to go. I think of the only place I’d be welcomed with open arms.
~~~
I stopped and had lunch with my mom at work. We talked about my plans and the future. She gave me the extra key to her apartment, some money for the bus and I headed off into the sweltering heat of the day. Standing at the stop in front of her workplace, I have a decision to make. Go to her place and get my life together or head back to the streets. The bus comes before I decide so, I climb aboard and pay the fare.
I sat in the back beside a couple of guys I’d never met before and they strike up a conversation with me. By the time we get to my mom’s house, I’m soul kissing them. I get them to come with me to moms place and take them both to her bed where we fuck like rabbits till half an hour before mom was due home. I never saw them again after they left.
My mom’s apartment is in a run down area of town and has a couple of crack dealers in the complex that I know well. That night, I’m at Ice’s place, letting him fuck me so I can get high. I’ve told my mom I was going to be at his house but she doesn’t know he’s a dealer. I think she’d shit if she knew. I snag a few rocks from him for later and go back to moms. She’s asleep so I get myself something to eat in the darkness of the kitchen and slip into my little brothers bedroom. I slip into his bed and snuggle with him before drifting off to sleep.
When I wake up hours later, the house is empty and quiet. I take a long shower and dress in shorts and sleeveless shirt then grab the bus pass mom has bought me and stuff it into my purse. I get my glass crack pipe, put in a good-sized rock and light it up, sucking the heavenly cloud deep into my lungs. Immediately my body is throbbing and my head feels light. I finish the rock, hide the pipe and leave the apartment.
~~~
The smell of the traffic tickles my nose as I stretch my legs, pointing my shapely ass toward the street as I’m bending down to touch the hot concrete before me. I hear the squeal of tires and a metallic crunch as I stand up and turn, my eyes catching sight of a grey sedan with a green sports car attached to its back bumper. I let out a gasp and run over to them asking if everyone is OK. The older guy grumbles as he gets out and looks at the damage while the young man in the sports car searches for his insurance information. He turns to get out of the car, sees me and blushes before yelling at me about my damned sexy ass making him have an accident and how it should be illegal. I have to laugh and start walking away when the cops get there. I hear the officer yell at me to come back but I just keep walking, hoping they leave me alone.
~~~
After a lunch of burgers and fries, I sit just off the street, watching the undercover cops working Beverly over. She’s so old I swear she’s my mom’s age! I know she’s been on the streets a long time. According to her, she’s been arrested thirty-five times! I think she should settle down and leave the guys to us but, she’s not going anywhere.
The officers leave and she comes over to bum a smoke. We talk for a bit, she warns me the cops are heavy tonight and heads off toward her house. She’s taking the night off it would seem.That’s good. Means more money for me.
~~~
I look at the small, lighted dial on my wrist. Almost three AM and the traffic has gotten lighter. No tricks for half an hour and I’m sitting at Colfax and Yosemite, feet dangling off the wall. I’m bored and thinking of taking off for home. Tonight, I’m staying at the Lazy C motel. They know I’m a hooker and they don’t care, as long as I don’t bring the cops. I’ve managed to bring them a lot of business over the years and make no problems for them so they are happy. I never work out of that motel. It’s where I sleep.
He pulls up to the curb and calls my name. I look around and grin, seeing no cops around. I grab my small purse and trot over to the car, open the door and jump in. “hey Tom, how’s it hangin?” He chuckles “It’s not, now. You always make him stand up and pay attention” I laugh at this as he hands me twenty bucks. We drive up to the park and I make him feel less tense then he looks at me, breathlessly, for a bit before shaking his head. “Damn, if my wife was half that good…” “I’d be out a hundred dollars a week” I finished for him with a grin.
“You got that right! Hey, I’ve been wondering. How much to fuck you?” I grinned and squirmed “mmmm for you… thirty. I know you’re good for fifty but I also know that I’d love to feel you between my legs” He laughed and looks around “We’d have to get out of the car, no way we could do it over the stick shift!” I open the door and step out into the cool darkness, looking around “no ones around, we could go down by the creek and….” I walk around the front of the car as he gets out, pulling out his wallet.
He hands me thirty dollars and we head down the path to the creek. We find a spot and lay by the water, stroking and kissing like long-lost lovers. He is passionate and attentive, bringing my body to its peek and crashing over several times before finally filling me full. Afterward, we lay atop the blanket he’d brought, sweat drying off our skin, catching our breath.
He looked at me and chuckled “damn, Angel, I thought hookers hated sex!” I laughed hard and shook my head “not me, Tom. I love my job!” “no shit!” he exclaimed as he rolled over to me and kissed me tenderly. “you know, Angel, you don’t have to do this. I’d pay your rent for you if that’s why you do this….. I never asked why before but I’m curious. Why DO you do this?”
I sighed and looked up at the starry sky, my heart aching as my eyes teared up. “I can’t help it, Tom. It’s like a drug for me. I HAVE to. I’ve tried to stop, I’ve even gone to other states but I always find the street again” I take a deep breath and look at him It doesn’t matter how big the town is, either. Once I was in a podunk little town in Idaho and a guy in a bar asked me how much. Before I knew it, I was in his truck, getting a train pulled on me with the guys each giving me twenty bucks!”
He smiled at me and wiped a tear from my cheek “It’s not your fault, Angel. You OOZE sexuality. I think it’s because you are always so… confident. You’re sexy and you know it and that turns men on. You’re so beautiful and young and already you’re so sure of yourself..Trust me, that’s one reason I keep looking for you when I’m on Colfax”
I lift up on my elbows and look at him “So, you’re saying, that if I stopped being so confident, men will leave me alone?” He looked at me a moment and frowned “no… you know, I don’t think you can help it. You know how some people are naturally smart or natural leaders…. I think you’re just naturally sexy. It’s like your putting out pheromones that make men crazy around you.”
“Genetically predisposed to be a slut…. hmmm… you might be on to something there, Einstein. How about we test that theory?” I reach over and take his sticky flesh in my hand and grin, a soft purr from my lips “He seems to be paying attention again”
Chapter 1
Childhood?
My childhood was far from ideal. Most times I think of little girls having baby dolls and pigtails, pretty pink rooms and strawberries on their bed sheets. I had the strawberries and pigtails. My room was a pretty soft pink after we moved into the house when I was eight. From the outside, I looked like a happy child and I was. For a little while.
I went to school like every other child. My mother packed my lunch because of allergies. I played softball and went to gymnastics, tried out for the tennis team and cheer squad. I remember having to take that stupid fitness test and running around the football field for a grueling half hour and almost passing out. Late spring in Texas is NOT the time to be running like that!
We would go to the beach frequently. Watching the ships floating serenely down the ship channel was my favorite part. They were going somewhere exciting. Somewhere away from where I was in my misery. I desperately wanted to go with them. I went to the docks often and would talk to the sailors about places they would go or sit and watch the ships.
Before we moved near the ship channel, we lived in Baytown, Texas. We lived in a mobile home near the back of the park, by the woods. I remember spending hours on end in those woods. We chased the “fog truck” that would come by spraying pesticides to kill the relentless mosquitoes. I wonder how many of my health issues now can be traced back to then.
I remember the first time I was molested. The washing machine was olive green and it matched the rest of the bathroom. I’d gotten sick all over my favorite dress and he’d taken me in to wash me up. He got my dress off and put it in the washing machine. After starting it, he lifted me up and sat me on the machine. I thought it was a little weird but it was ok because he was my daddy and he did weird things all the time. They were fun and, at 6, everyone loves fun. I remember the feel of the cool washrag, it was hot outside so it felt nice. I remember giggling when he touched me through my underpants because I didn’t get barf in my panties and when I said so, he told me he wanted to make sure I was all clean. The smell of detergent was strong and I felt suddenly sick. Not like bad sick, scared sick. He didn’t go further than touching that first time but I remember him showing me his peepee and how big it looked. I said something about him being bigger than my brothers (we took showers and baths together all the time) and he laughed, telling me that was why he wouldn’t do anything to me with it yet.
Not long after that, my father became “born again” and we started going to church. We went ALL the time and I had to wear long sleeved dresses, past my knees and neckline higher than my collarbone. I was a good girl, I sang in the choir, went to girl scout meetings at the church, helped the ladies clean the sanctuary and oil the pews. I even went to church camp and sang solo parts in a play the church hosted. Life was perfect… for a time.
One day my dad came home from church where he’d been to see the pastor. He felt he’d had a calling to be a missionary. The pastor didn’t think he was ready or something and told him he wouldn’t back him. We never went back to that church again, hat I can remember, and we moved shortly afterward to the first real house we’d ever lived in. Up till then, all I’d known was mobile homes or military housing. I was soon going to a school nearby and had friends. My grandmother lived a block from us and we spent many Christmases at her house with her.
From the time we moved into the house till after I left home, my father molested me. I was 9 when he started making weekly trips into my room to “tuck me in” He told me many times that if I told anyone, he’d kill my mother and my little brother. To prove to me that he could, he dismembered my kitten in front of me. I was 11 when he did that and I still remember the mewling of my kitten 30 years afterward.
When I was 12 my father came to me one night and asked me if I really wanted to get some extra money for something I wanted to buy. I was excited at the prospect so I said yes. He kissed me and smiled then walked to the light switch and turned it off. I heard the familiar sound of his belt buckle hitting the floor and my body went numb. I knew what was going to happen next so I “left”. I went to the corner of my room, looking at the people on the bed, and waited till he was done. For a year, at least, I’d been disappearing into myself when he’s visit me. When he tucked the covers over my shoulders, he turned to leave and drew his wallet from his pocket. Pulling a 20 from his billfold, he chuckled and placed it on the dresser by the door before leaving.
This went on till I was 15. My older brothers best friend and I ran away together. He was 20 and had a car so, one day I wrote my mother a note and left it on my nightstand when I left for school. I had packed my clothes in my backpack and went to the bus. I had made plans the night before, with my boyfriend, to run away. He knew that my father was hitting me, he had seen it with his own eyes that night when my father beat me because I hadn’t done the dishes.
We left town around noon. I had skipped out after third period gym and met him at the pool. We went back to his place and packed the trunk with his stuff then headed out. I remember crying because I was afraid for my mother and, about halfway to Amarillo, I remembered it was my fathers graduation night. We got a motel in Raton and slept that first night. I was exhausted and sore from the beating the night before. Johnny was so gentle and sweet. He tucked me into bed and held me protectively, kissing my eyebrow and telling me I was safe. I fell asleep to his voice telling me I’d be safe forever.
His blue eyes open as he yawns and lifts himself up on his elbow. He smiles sleepily, his voice soft as he speaks “Did you enjoy yourself, my Goddess?” I felt my face grow warm and nod “I guess I did…. Master” He grins lopsidedly and slides his hand over his hip then over his ass, wincing when he touches the welts “Damn, does it look as bad as it feels?” “roll over on your belly and let me see”
I crawl to the cage and unlock the door. I look at the welts and cringe inwardly “let me get some salve” I start to crawl from the cage when he grabs my ankle and pulls me backward, quicker than I’d thought possible with the wounds he had. He wrestles me to my back and, somehow, ends up between my legs. He ravages me fast, thrusting hard into my willing body, bringing me to passionate cries of release.
I feel his thick fingers circle my throat, squeezing harder than he’d squeezed before. I look into his eyes and see such fury there that I’m suddenly terrified and start to push him away. He grins at me, an evil grin. I think he knows I know that he’s made up his mind to kill me. His hands squeeze harder and I feel my eyes pulsing with each thrust of his hips, my heart thundering in my chest. I lose consciousness as another orgasm rips through my body.
~~
I come to to the sound of Andys voice, filled with concern, somewhere above me. I feel like I’m swimming up from the deepest part of the ocean, my body is covered in warmth as I fight to wake up. Something heavy is on top of me, weighing me down and I can’t take a breath. I smell hot copper filling my nostrils, I can taste the blood from somewhere. All I want to do is breath but the weight is too much.
Suddenly the weight is lifted from me and cold fingers touch my face, brushing the tendrils of hair from my eyes. Andys voice, filled with desperation, fills my ears. “Angel, please, wake up, please be alive, I can’t do this without you!!” I take a deep breath and cough, my blurred vision clearing slowly with the intake of air. My throat throbs painfully and, as I move my shaking hands, I realize I’m sticky and wet.
I lift my hand and see it’s covered in darkness. I don’t understand what’s happened, only that Andy is telling me we have to get out of here. He’s trying to help me up, pulling me by my sticky arm when I see Boss Man, laying on his back, looking up at me, oddly silent. Andy tells me not to look, pulling my face toward him, commanding me to look at him. “We have to leave, now, Angel!”
I stand with his help and he leads me out, the acrid smell of gunpowder and blood wafting through my senses. I’m still not sure what happened but I know that Boss Man is dead. It was his eyes, they were… empty. I start to ask Andy what happened when I hear the sirens in the distance. Andy grabs me by both shoulders and speaks softly “Angel, do you remember what I told you, about what we needed to do if it came to this?” I nodded and swallowed, my head feeling cottony as I fell to my knees. He put his hand on my cheek and disappeared out the back door. It was only then that I realized that he’d had his gloves on.
The sirens stopped outside the house and I staggered outside, covered in blood and naked. I fell to my knees and looked up as the officers ran up to me, guns drawn. I lay on the ground, shivering and whimpering as they shot questions at me. I sobbed out that Boss Man was dead, that he was in the basement, no he was alone, no there was no-one else inside. They covered me with a blanket from one of their cars and went inside to see for themselves. An ambulance came and got me and took me to the hospital.
~~~
Andy was waiting by the phone when the hospital called. I’d given him enough time to get home and clean up before calling. When he got to the hospital, the officers pulled him into a room and questioned him before he saw me. When he came into the room he acted like he hadn’t seen me in weeks, asking what happened, where I’d been, if I as ok. I just cried as his arms were around me. I still had the collar on so I explained, through tears, to everyone within earshot, what had happened. When the officer asked about the marks on him, I told them that he’d made me do that to him and that I would never have done that to anyone.
I think my Communications teacher would have been proud of my performance! They finished with their questions and I was taken upstairs to rest. They allowed Andy to stay with me and we settled into the room. When it was quiet, Andy watching television and I was dozing off, I was suddenly jolted awake by a thought “the money, Andy, what about the money??!” I’d forgotten the bank transfer! He smiled and took my hand in his, patting my hand “remember the account we opened with your fake id?” I nodded slowly as a slow grin slipped over my lips. “all we have to do is transfer the funds into our individual accounts and it’s done. Just wait a week or so, let his money sit and take it out slowly, a little at a time” He explained in a whisper, the television drowning out any possible eavesdroppers. I lay on the bed and nibbled my lip worriedly, there was something we were forgetting…
~~~
A month later, Andy and I were packing the truck to leave. The money tucked away in the cab, small bills, inside a briefcase. A police car pulls up behind the truck as I was bringing out the last of the boxes. A young officer gets out of the car and walks up to us and asks for id. I take out my drivers license and he looks at it with a nod then hands me a bag. Inside is my gun, the one that Andy had used to kill Boss Man. He looks at me and smiles “I thought you’d like this back, Ma’am” He looks over at Andy who is as pale as I’d ever seen him. He looks around and speaks softly “you know, it’s a nice day for a drive in the country” Andy nods and smiles “ayeah, it is.” The officer tips his hat at Andy and turns to me with a smile “You take care now, Angel” I watch him walk to the car and look at Andy. He shrugs and gets in the truck. I look back at the car and watch as he drives away then get in beside Andy, setting the bag on the seat between us. “what was that all about?” I ask “Don’t know but I’m not sticking around to find out”
He was tied to the apparatus, face down. His plump ass was in the air and my hand was holding the whip, running the tips of the leather strips across the cooling flesh. I could never have imagined myself being the producer of pain like this. I hated giving pain but I kept telling myself that I was saving his life. I raised the whip and laid the stinging strips across the tender flesh of Boss Man’s ass with a loud whack. His head lifts as the scream rips through him. His body is covered in sweat and his flesh is red from the hours of punishment I’d given him.
Andy has returned from upstairs where he’s been, using the phone to confirm the money has been put in the account. “It’s there, how much longer ya want to spend on this asshole?” He asks as he watches me take out a thin bamboo cane from a pool cue bag. I look at him and grin wickedly “How long was I gone?” “three weeks” he replies, looking at me curiously. I nod and move to the side of Boss Man. The whistle of bamboo through the air is punctuated by a snap as the cane meets flesh. A thin line of blood seeps from the split flesh, like juice from a sliced peach. I’m mesmerized by the redness of it and give it a match, about an inch from the original. He screams, loudly sobbing, as I place a third welt across his already swollen globes.
Andy watches me for a bit, fascinated by the look on my face. “God, Angel, I never knew you liked this kind of thing. You’re practically GLOWING” Blinking, I look at him, uncomprehending. “What the fuck are you talking about?” “You look radiant, Angel. Like you do after a good fuck” He’s whispering, awe oozing from his words. I laugh and look at Boss Mans ass, realizing suddenly that he is dripping blood from the wounds caused by the twenty or thirty lashes I’ve given him. Boss Man is quiet, limp, and pale as death. I check his pulse which is fast and strong. I’m assuming he’s passed out from the pain.
I set the bloodied cane aside and go over to Andy, undressing as I walk. I don’t have to say anything. I can see he’s as turned on as I am. Wordlessly I take down his shorts and kneel before him, taking him into my mouth and sucking his hard shaft into my mouth. After a few minutes, he lifts me up and, kissing me passionately, he lays me on the weight bench and fucks me hard and fast. I erupt over and over, clawing into his back as my legs wrap around him, pulling him in deeper, begging him to choke me. It doesn’t take him long before he’s grunting and spilling his seed deep into me, hands around my throat, making me cum harder than before.
Afterward, he looks at me, eyes wide with disbelief “My God woman, you have changed while you were gone but fuck, I like the changes!!” Breathlessly, laughing, I walk to the bathroom to clean up “yeah, you have no clue, do you” In the bathroom I look in the mirror and start to cry. I HAD changed and it scared me. Who was this person I’d become? Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever imagined I’d beg someone to choke me, especially during sex!! As I slipped into the shower it struck me. I’d actually cum harder while being choked! What the hell was wrong with me??
After I dried off and dressed, I tended to Boss Mans ass. He was pretty bad in a few places so I put antibiotic cream on the wounds and placed gauze bandages over them. I untied him and helped him off the apparatus and to the floor. His legs were weak and he was sobbing as I tended to his wounds. I got him a blanket and pillow and he fell asleep on the carpeted floor, his soft snores filled the basement as Andy and I went upstairs to make dinner.
“What do we want to do after we leave here?” Andy asks over Chinese takeout. “I think we should disappear for a bit” I say, my mouth full of egg roll. “You want to leave state? What about my check? It’s not due for another two days” He looks at me and I smile “Who says we’re leaving before your check gets here?” He shakes his head and chuckles “I think you’re enjoying your payback a bit too much” I shrug and shove a piece of sweet and sour chicken in my mouth so I don’t have to answer.
That night, before we go to bed, I tell Boss Man that he’s our “guest” for the next two or three days and he would be sleeping in the cage. He only nodded. I gave him some of the left over take out but he only ate an egg roll before pushing the rest away. I make sure he’s got a clean bucket and a bottle of water, a pillow and blanket and flashlight. I then make him get into the cage, lock it, and head upstairs with Andy in tow.
After Andy falls asleep, I lay in the bed watching the lights from the cars going by washing over the walls for about an hour. I finally slip from the covers and walk, naked, downstairs to see Boss Man. I open the door and leave it open, letting the light from the outer room illuminate his sleeping face. I look over his body, wincing as I see the bruises and welts that I’d placed on his flesh.
Had I really done those things? Had I really harmed someone I loved?? What did he think of me, now that I’d done these things? I ran my fingers over the collar that was still locked around my throat. Why hadn’t I taken it off? Was it because I WANTED to wear it? Did I truly want to be owned???
What had I become??
Andy wants to go to the police but I have a different thought. Revenge. I have Andy take me to a restaurant where we talk for hours about my plan. By the time we pay the check, we’re both grinning evilly. Andy takes me home so I can sleep and he heads off to the hardware store for some needed items. When he returns, he wakes me and we head back to the house I’d been held captive in.
The front door is unlocked and the house is empty when we return, just the way I left it. I enter first to make sure he hadn’t returned early and, after finding the house empty, I open the attached garage and wave Andy inside. We unload the car and I have him take the car to the park half a block away to park it. He comes in the back door and we clean up the broken glass the kids had shattered to get in.
~~~
Two days later, while we sat in the living room drinking coffee, I hear the garage door opening. Andy takes the cups and runs into the bed room while I run into the basement and shut the door. I hear the door lock and footsteps running away. Thank God he is a smart man, I’d totally forgotten the lock!
I get out some things to make for breakfast, since it was about that time of day and muss my hair so I look like I’ve just gotten up. Just as I hear the key in the lock, I realize I’m dressed! I scurry into the bathroom and quickly slip out of my clothes, cramming them into the cabinet under the sink. I squeek in surprise when he knocks, flush the toilet and wash my hands as he comes in.
His arms slip around my waist and he whispers in my ear “Has my slut been busy while I’ve been gone?” I laugh and turn in his arms, my lips finding his “You have no idea, my Master!” “I noticed you rearranged the bookshelf. I like it” He says as he lifts me in his arms, carrying me by my ass cheeks. I’m giggling and squirming as he grips my ass with both hands, his cock pressed against me, only the fabric of his slacks between us. “I missed you, my sexy Master” I whisper as I nibble his ear. “I missed you too, slut. I brought you something too.”
Out of his carry on bag, he pulls a small velvet covered box with a bow on it. He hands it to me and says “Put it on my beast” He smiles as he watches me open it to find a collar with a dainty gold lock “I can’t wear two collars, my Master” He laughs “put it on and I’ll take off the other one. First, look closely at it”
I lift it from the box and look at it. Gleaming in the lights are the words “Beloved Goddess” made with what looks like tiny blue sapphires. I look at him, my heart heavy. “I don’t deserve this, my Master” He smiles at me and touches my cheek gently “I’ll decide what you deserve, slut. Do as you’re told” “Yes Master” I take the collar and slip it on, the cool metal warming quickly to my skins temp. He takes off the old collar and kisses me, picking me up and carrying me to the counter of the bathroom. He undoes his pants and slips himself into my waiting body. He’s obviously been thinking about me since he left.
He uses me quickly and quietly, biting my collarbone as he fills me, my mind upstairs, thinking about what Andy is doing. He kisses me and looks at me, face perplexed “are you feeling OK my Angel?” “Yes, my Master, I’m fine, why?” he frowns at me and places the back of his hand against my forehead looking concerned “you didn’t respond well today. Are you sure you’re feeling well?” I look down and sigh “I’ve got a bit of a headache, my Master, that’s all” He looks at me for the longest time then shrugs “probably hungry. Come out here and get something to eat. I smell the coffee you’ve made, maybe that’ll help”
We walk out into the main room and Andy is standing there, waiting, holding a gun. I scream like we’d planned and scurry back into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I’ve done my part but Andy looked like he could pull the trigger and not think twice. Seeing him like that scared me. I hear them talking on the other side of the wall but I can’t hear them clearly. I lay on the floor and stick my ear by the crack so I can hear better. Nope, nothing. Dammit. I have to go out to hear them.
I open the door slowly, Boss Man has his hands in the air and Andy has moved him away from the bathroom, they are to each side of me, Andy to the left, Boss Man to the right as I step out and look at them both. They are looking at me silently, expectantly. Andy speaks to me and I jump like he’d shot the gun. “Well, should I just shoot him and get it over with or what?”
My hand moves to my throat and feels the collar there. I find tears welling up in my eyes and, for a moment, I can’t breath. Boss Man grins at Andy “I am her Master, she won’t let you shoot me” I look at Andy and see the pain and bewilderment in his eyes as he speaks “Angel?” “I can’t, Andy. I can’t make that call. I love you but he’s right. I love him, he’s my Master”
Boss Man starts to laugh and something in his laughter makes me cringe. Andy raises the gun and he stops laughing “Andy, don’t. Not like this” I plead. Andy looks down the barrel of the gun and growls “we planned this, Angel. I’m not letting you back out now. You don’t know what you’re talking about. Stockholm syndrome is what it’s called. You’re basically brainwashed.” I look at him then at Boss Man who is staring at Andy. I don’t want him to die so I think fast “I know we discussed killing him but what if we did to him what he did to me?” Andy just stares at him “I’m listening”
“We make HIM the slave. I can do things to him like he did to me, make him know how it feels” I’m talking fast, pacing between them. Andy grins slowly as he listens. Boss Man is not amused “I can’t be gone that long, people will miss me, they will look for me and you’ll be caught” I look at him and smile angelically “I’ll just call your wife and tell her we’ve run off together” He erupts with anger “You wouldn’t!! She’d clean out the accounts! I’ll be ruined!!” I shrugged my shoulders and turned to him, calmly “Then I tell you what. You give me twenty thou no, make it forty thousand and I’ll let you go, rich as ever and.. basically.. intact but first, we’re going to have some fun” He looks at me then Andy and the gun “You’re serious” “Deadly” says Andy. He sighs and nods “Done, let me call the bank and we can get this over with”
Don't Cry, Broken Angel 