His blue eyes open as he yawns and lifts himself up on his elbow. He smiles sleepily, his voice soft as he speaks “Did you enjoy yourself, my Goddess?” I felt my face grow warm and nod “I guess I  did…. Master” He grins lopsidedly and slides his hand over his hip then over his ass, wincing when he touches the welts “Damn, does it look as bad as it feels?” “roll over on your belly and let me see”

I crawl to the cage and unlock the door. I look at the welts and cringe inwardly “let me get some salve” I start to crawl from the cage when he grabs my ankle and pulls me backward, quicker than I’d thought possible with the wounds he had. He  wrestles me to my back and, somehow, ends up between my legs. He ravages me fast, thrusting hard into my willing body, bringing me to passionate cries of release.

I feel his thick fingers circle my throat, squeezing harder than he’d squeezed before. I look into his eyes and see such fury there that I’m suddenly terrified and start to push him away. He grins at me, an evil grin. I think he knows I know that he’s made up his mind to kill me. His hands squeeze harder and I feel my eyes pulsing with each thrust of his hips, my heart thundering in my chest. I lose consciousness as another orgasm rips through my body.

 

~~

 

I come to to the sound of Andys voice, filled with concern, somewhere above me. I feel like I’m swimming up from the deepest part of the ocean, my body is covered in warmth as I fight to wake up. Something heavy is on top of me, weighing me down and I can’t take a breath. I smell hot copper filling my nostrils, I can taste the blood from somewhere.  All I want to do is breath but the weight is too much.

Suddenly the weight is lifted from me and cold fingers touch my face, brushing the tendrils of hair from my eyes. Andys voice, filled with desperation, fills my ears. “Angel, please, wake up, please be alive, I can’t do this without you!!” I take a deep breath and cough, my blurred vision clearing slowly with the intake of air. My throat throbs painfully and, as I move my shaking hands, I realize I’m sticky and wet.

I lift my hand and see it’s covered in darkness. I don’t understand what’s happened, only that Andy is telling me we have to get out of here. He’s trying to help me up, pulling me by my sticky arm when I see Boss Man, laying on his back, looking up at me, oddly silent. Andy tells me not to look, pulling my face toward him, commanding me to look at him. “We have to leave, now, Angel!”

I stand with his help and he leads me out, the acrid smell of gunpowder and blood wafting through my senses. I’m still not sure what happened but I know that Boss Man is dead. It was his eyes, they were… empty. I start to ask Andy what happened when I hear the sirens in the distance. Andy grabs me by both shoulders and speaks softly “Angel, do you remember what I told you, about what we needed to do if it came to this?” I nodded and swallowed, my head feeling cottony as I fell to my knees. He put his hand on my cheek and disappeared out the back door. It was only then that I realized that he’d had his gloves on.

The sirens stopped outside the house and I staggered outside, covered in blood and naked. I fell to my knees and looked up as the officers ran up to me, guns drawn. I lay on the ground, shivering and whimpering as they shot questions at me. I sobbed out that Boss Man was dead, that he was in the basement, no he was alone, no there was no-one else inside. They covered me with a blanket from one of their cars and went inside to see for themselves. An ambulance came and got me and took me to the hospital.

~~~

Andy was waiting by the phone when the hospital called. I’d given him enough time to get home and clean up before calling. When he got to the hospital, the officers pulled him into a room and questioned him before he saw me. When he came into the room he acted like he hadn’t seen me in weeks, asking what happened, where I’d been, if I as ok. I just cried as his arms were around me. I still had the collar on so I explained, through tears, to everyone within earshot, what had happened. When the officer asked about the marks on him, I told them that he’d made me do that to him and that I would never have done that to anyone.

I think my Communications teacher would have been proud of my performance! They finished with their questions and I was taken upstairs to rest. They allowed Andy to stay with me and we settled into the room. When it was quiet, Andy watching television and I was dozing off, I was suddenly jolted awake by a thought “the money, Andy, what about the money??!” I’d forgotten the bank transfer! He smiled and took my hand in his, patting my hand “remember the account we opened with your fake id?” I nodded slowly as a slow grin slipped over my lips. “all we have to do is transfer the funds into our individual accounts and it’s done. Just wait a week or so, let his money sit and take it out slowly, a little at a time” He explained in a whisper, the television drowning out any possible eavesdroppers. I lay on the bed and nibbled my lip worriedly, there was something we were forgetting…

~~~

A month later, Andy and I were packing the truck to leave.  The money tucked away in the cab, small bills, inside a briefcase. A police car pulls up behind the truck as I was bringing out the last of the boxes. A young officer gets out of the car and walks up to us and asks for id. I take out my drivers license and he looks at it with a nod then hands me a bag. Inside is my gun, the one that Andy had used to kill Boss Man. He looks at me and smiles “I thought you’d like this back, Ma’am” He looks over at Andy who is as pale as I’d ever seen him. He looks around and speaks softly “you know, it’s a nice day for a drive in the country” Andy nods and smiles “ayeah, it is.” The officer tips his hat at Andy and turns to me with a smile “You take care now, Angel” I watch him walk to the car and look at Andy. He shrugs and gets in the truck. I look back at the car and watch as he drives away then get in beside Andy, setting the bag on the seat between us. “what was that all about?” I ask “Don’t know but I’m not sticking around to find out”

He was tied to the apparatus, face down. His plump ass was in the air and my hand was holding the whip, running the tips of the leather strips across the cooling flesh. I could never have imagined myself being the producer of pain like this. I hated giving pain but I kept telling myself that I was saving his life. I raised the whip and laid the stinging strips across the tender flesh of Boss Man’s ass with a loud whack. His head lifts as the scream rips through him. His body is covered in sweat and his flesh is red from the hours of punishment I’d given him.

Andy has returned from upstairs where he’s been, using the phone to confirm the money has been put in the account. “It’s there, how much longer ya want to spend on this asshole?” He asks as he watches me take out a thin bamboo cane from a pool cue bag. I look at him and grin wickedly “How long was I gone?” “three weeks” he replies, looking at me curiously. I nod and move to the side of Boss Man. The whistle of bamboo through the air is punctuated by a snap as the cane meets flesh. A thin line of blood seeps from the split flesh, like juice from a sliced peach. I’m mesmerized by the redness of it and give it a match, about an inch from the original. He screams, loudly sobbing, as I place a third welt across his already swollen globes.

Andy watches me for a bit, fascinated by the look on my face. “God, Angel, I never knew you liked this kind of thing. You’re practically GLOWING” Blinking, I look at him, uncomprehending. “What the fuck are you talking about?” “You look radiant, Angel. Like you do after a good fuck” He’s whispering, awe oozing from his words. I laugh and look at Boss Mans ass, realizing suddenly that he is dripping blood from the wounds caused by the twenty or thirty lashes I’ve given him. Boss Man is quiet, limp, and pale as death. I check his pulse which is fast and strong. I’m assuming he’s passed out from the pain.

I set the bloodied cane aside and go over to Andy, undressing as I walk. I don’t have to say anything. I can see he’s as turned on as I am. Wordlessly I take down his shorts and kneel before him, taking him into my mouth and sucking his hard shaft into my mouth. After a few minutes, he lifts me up and, kissing me passionately, he lays me on the weight bench and fucks me hard and fast. I erupt over and over, clawing into his back as my legs wrap around him, pulling him in deeper, begging him to choke me. It doesn’t take him long before he’s grunting and spilling his seed deep into me, hands around my throat, making me cum harder than before.

Afterward, he looks at me, eyes wide with disbelief “My God woman, you have changed while you were gone but fuck, I like the changes!!” Breathlessly, laughing, I walk to the bathroom to clean up “yeah, you have no clue, do you” In the bathroom I look in the mirror and start to cry. I HAD changed and it scared me. Who was this person I’d become? Never in my wildest dreams would I have ever imagined I’d beg someone to choke me, especially during sex!! As I slipped into the shower it struck me. I’d actually cum harder while being choked! What the hell was wrong with me??

After I dried off and dressed, I tended to Boss Mans ass. He was pretty bad in a few places so I put antibiotic cream on the wounds and placed gauze bandages over them. I untied him and helped him off the apparatus and to the floor. His legs were weak and he was sobbing as I tended to his wounds. I got him a blanket and pillow and he fell asleep on the carpeted floor, his soft snores filled the basement as Andy and I went upstairs to make dinner.

“What do we want to do after we leave here?” Andy asks over Chinese takeout. “I think we should disappear for a bit” I say, my mouth full of egg roll. “You want to leave state? What about my check? It’s not due for another two days” He looks at me and I smile “Who says we’re leaving before your check gets here?” He shakes his head and chuckles “I think you’re enjoying your payback a bit too much” I shrug and shove a piece of sweet and sour chicken in my mouth so I don’t have to answer.

That night, before we go to bed, I tell Boss Man that he’s our “guest” for the next two or three days and he would be sleeping in the cage. He only nodded. I gave him some of the left over take out but he only ate an egg roll before pushing the rest away. I make sure he’s got a clean bucket and a bottle of water, a pillow and blanket and flashlight. I then make him get into the cage, lock it, and head upstairs with Andy in tow.

After Andy falls asleep, I lay in the bed watching the lights from the cars going by washing over the walls for about an hour. I finally slip from the covers and walk, naked, downstairs to see Boss Man. I open the door and leave it open, letting the light from the outer room illuminate his sleeping face. I look over his body, wincing as I see the bruises and welts that I’d placed on his flesh.

Had I really done those things? Had I really harmed someone I loved?? What did he think of me, now that I’d done these things? I ran my fingers over the collar that was still locked around my throat. Why hadn’t I taken it off? Was it because I WANTED to wear it? Did I truly want to be owned???

What had I become??

Andy wants to go to the police but I have a different thought. Revenge. I have Andy take me to a restaurant where we talk for hours about my plan. By the time we pay the check, we’re both grinning evilly. Andy takes me home so I can sleep and he heads off to the hardware store for some needed items. When he returns, he wakes me and we head back to the house I’d been held captive in.

The front door is unlocked and the house is empty when we return, just the way I left it. I enter first to make sure he hadn’t returned early and, after finding the house empty, I open the attached garage and wave Andy inside. We unload the car and I have him take the car to the park half a block away to park it. He comes in the back door and we clean up the broken glass the kids had shattered to get in.

~~~

Two days later, while we sat in the living room drinking coffee, I hear the garage door opening. Andy takes the cups and runs into the bed room while I run into the basement and shut the door. I hear the door lock and footsteps running away. Thank God he is a smart man, I’d totally  forgotten the lock!

I get out some things to make for breakfast, since it was about that time of day and muss my hair so I look like I’ve just gotten up. Just as I hear the key in the lock, I realize I’m dressed! I scurry into the bathroom and quickly slip out of my clothes, cramming them into the cabinet under the sink. I squeek in surprise when he knocks, flush the toilet and wash my hands as he comes in.

His arms slip around my waist and he whispers in my ear “Has my slut been busy while I’ve been gone?” I laugh and turn in his arms, my lips finding his “You have no idea, my Master!” “I noticed you rearranged the bookshelf. I like it” He says as he lifts me in his arms, carrying me by my ass cheeks. I’m giggling and squirming as he grips my ass with both hands, his cock pressed against me, only the fabric of his slacks between us. “I missed you, my sexy Master” I whisper as I nibble his ear. “I missed you too, slut. I brought you something too.”

Out of his carry on bag, he pulls a small velvet covered box with a bow on it. He hands it to me and says “Put it on my beast” He smiles as he watches me open it to find a collar with a dainty gold lock “I can’t wear two collars, my Master” He laughs “put it on and I’ll take off the other one. First, look closely at it”

I lift it from the box and look at it. Gleaming in the lights are the words “Beloved Goddess” made with what looks like tiny blue sapphires. I look at him, my heart heavy. “I don’t deserve this, my Master” He smiles at me and touches my cheek gently “I’ll decide what you deserve, slut. Do as you’re told” “Yes Master” I take the collar and slip it on, the cool metal warming quickly to my skins temp. He takes off the old collar and kisses me, picking me up and carrying me to the counter of the bathroom. He undoes his pants and slips himself into my waiting body. He’s obviously been thinking about me since he left.

He uses me quickly and quietly, biting my collarbone as he fills me, my mind upstairs, thinking about what Andy is doing. He kisses me and looks at me, face perplexed “are you feeling OK my Angel?” “Yes, my Master, I’m fine, why?” he frowns at me and places the back of his hand against my forehead  looking concerned “you didn’t respond well today. Are you sure you’re feeling well?” I look down and sigh “I’ve got a bit of a headache, my Master, that’s all” He looks at me for the longest time then shrugs “probably hungry. Come out here and get something to eat. I smell the coffee you’ve made, maybe that’ll help”

We walk out into the main room and Andy is standing there, waiting, holding a gun. I scream like we’d planned and scurry back into the bathroom, slamming the door behind me. I’ve done my part but Andy looked like he could pull the trigger and not think twice. Seeing him like that scared me. I hear them talking on the other side of the wall but I can’t hear them clearly. I lay on the floor and stick my ear by the crack so I can hear better.  Nope, nothing. Dammit. I have to go out to hear them.

I open the door slowly, Boss Man has his hands in the air and Andy has moved him away from the bathroom, they are to each side of me, Andy to the left, Boss Man to the right as I step out and look at them both. They are looking at me silently, expectantly. Andy speaks to me and I jump like he’d shot the gun. “Well, should I just shoot him and get it over with or what?”

My hand moves to my throat and feels the collar there. I find tears welling up in my eyes and, for a moment, I can’t breath. Boss Man grins at Andy “I am her Master, she won’t let you shoot me” I look at Andy and see the pain and bewilderment in his eyes as he speaks “Angel?” “I can’t, Andy. I can’t make that call. I love you but he’s right. I love him, he’s my Master”

Boss Man starts to laugh and something in his laughter makes me cringe. Andy raises the gun and he stops laughing “Andy, don’t. Not like this” I plead. Andy looks down the barrel of the gun and growls “we planned this, Angel. I’m not letting you back out now. You don’t know what you’re talking about. Stockholm syndrome is what it’s called. You’re basically brainwashed.” I look at him then at Boss Man who is staring at Andy. I don’t want him to die so I think fast “I know we discussed killing him but what if we did to him what he did to me?” Andy just stares at him “I’m listening”

“We make HIM the slave. I can do things to him like he did to me, make him know how it feels” I’m talking fast, pacing between them. Andy grins slowly as he listens. Boss Man is not amused “I can’t be gone that long, people will miss me, they will look for me and you’ll be caught” I look at him and smile angelically “I’ll just call your wife and tell her we’ve run off together” He erupts with anger “You wouldn’t!! She’d clean out the accounts! I’ll be ruined!!” I shrugged my shoulders and turned to him, calmly “Then I tell you what. You give me twenty thou no, make it forty thousand and I’ll let you go, rich as ever and.. basically.. intact but first, we’re going to have some fun” He looks at me then Andy and the gun “You’re serious” “Deadly” says Andy. He sighs and nods “Done, let me call the bank and we can get this over with”

(NSFW = not safe for work) (ISC = Intense Sexual Content)  (PT= possible triggers)

 

I wake and look around, my eye swollen and painful. I see that he’s been here and left me some food. I must have been in a deep sleep because he’d come into the cage and left a satchel of things by the entrance. I crawl to the satchel and open it, pulling out the items. A hairbrush, hand mirror, some ice packs and a couple of pairs of socks. I look at myself in the mirror and sigh, the eye well swollen and purple. I looked like a prize fighter after he’d gone three rounds with a Mac truck. It wasn’t pretty and I wondered if there wasn’t something broken. I break the first ice pack and shake it, feeling the warmth leave the stuff inside and put it on my face.

Crawling one handed to the basket of food, I grunt with each painful jolt. Panting and covered with sweat, I reach inside to find a couple of peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, an apple and a thermos of water. There is a note from him as well and I open the folded paper as I start to eat the apple.

My dear sweet slut,

As you lay there sleeping I feel a sadness in my soul. Your face marred thusly saddens me to the point that I doubt you’ll ever forgive me. I know I’ll never forgive myself. I know it was an accident but you’re damaged. What can I do to be forgiven?? 

I’ve left this small offering for you, in hopes that my Goddess can find it within herself to grant me forgiveness. If not, I may just have to purge myself before her. Perhaps a blood offering would suffice. I shall return soon, my Goddess… I love you.

 

I throw the apple, screaming “Forgiveness?? You want FORGIVENESS?? Let me out of here you asshole and I’ll show you forgiveness!!” Grabbing the bars, I rant and scream for a bit, till my throat is raw and I’m covered in sweat again. Laying on the cover and pillow, food forgotten, I cry myself to sleep again.

~~~~

I wake to the smell of food and the metallic sound of the cage door shutting. I turn over, getting up on my elbow and look at him. He smiles at me and asks how I slept. I just glare at him, silently, for his answer. When I speak, my voice is ragged and croaky. I sound only a fourth as bad as I feel. “Why are you doing this? Don’t you know that I could have you arrested when I get out of here? Are you really this stupid?”

He looks hurt for a moment then sighs “I wish you hadn’t said that, my Goddess. I’m afraid you’ll never be able to leave that cage now. Had you accepted this as a game between lovers then I would have released you.” He turns to leave and I cry out “don’t leave me here you fuck!” He turns to me and frowns then quickly walks to the other room, muttering to himself. He returns with something in his hands that I hadn’t seen since the days on the sheep ranch. It emitted a sharp crackle of electricity as he touched the tip to my upper thigh, his face purple with rage “You  will NEVER speak to me like that again!”

The next thing I know, I’m on my back in excruciating pain. the leg he’d touched felt lie it was on fire and I’m sobbing hysterically. He’s now in the cage and beating me with his fists, in a rage unlike I’ve ever seen him in. He grabs my hair and slams my head on the floor and everything goes black. I wake to him raping me, biting my shoulder as he ravages me. When he sees I’m awake again, he starts to choke me, his hands tighter around my neck with each grunted stroke. My body erupts under him, my fingernails in his ass cheeks, pulling him into me. I silently scream my release and he removes his hands, grunting his seed into my depths. I scarcely feel my leg anymore, only the pleasure he’s giving me. He lays atop me, breathing hard and murmuring “good girl… good little fuck slut” I whimper, my body still needing him to ravage it. I break down in tears and whimper shamelessly “please, please god please fuck me more!” He chuckles and pulls out, replacing his cock with something cold and hard. I react to the object, opening my thighs wider and thrusting my hips wildly, nails gripping the blanket beneath me tightly. He grins like a madman as he rams the object into me harder and harder, hurting me inside. I am past the point of pain, my body erupting over and over with each thrust. He removes the object and I cry out “More, please Master, fuck me more!!”

I’m out of control, my mind has gone someplace else and I hear my voice that of a wanton whore but I can’t stop. Something has snapped and I’m nothing but sex. He replaces the object with something quite a bit bigger and warm. “God it hurts so good, Yes, YES Master please fuck me!” He shoves hard and I can feel him pushing against my cervix. I scream with pleasure when he moves his fingers, stars spinning in my head as my back arches painfully erupting harder than I’ve ever orgasmed before.

I’m a panting, sobbing, mess, weak and shaking, electric shocks traveling through my body. He pulls out and gets up, leaving me momentarily to get a comforter. He covers me and lays beside me, pulling me into his arms. I lay in his arms, sobbing for a while and then begin to kiss his sweaty skin, tears bathing him with each kiss. I kiss his chin and start to kiss his lips when he growls “you have gained the privilege of kissing my lips, slut.” I whimper and kiss him passionately. After each kiss, my whispers of adoration fill my ears “my master….. my Master… I love you so my master!” To my sane mind, it sounded weird but to my addled mind it was as normal as breathing. He had  mastered me and I had lost my ever loving mind!

I walk into the cottage and look around. It’s small and quaint, two bedrooms and a full basement. As I wander the tiny abode, Boss Man is telling me what his expectations are. He wants me home all the time or at least nearby so, when he pages me, I’m home when he gets here. If I have doctors appointments, he wants to know. He’s “taken the liberty” of buying me clothing to wear when I know he’s coming. All the bills will be paid except for the food and I’ll get “a couple” thousand a month for spending money.

He takes me into the basement and I’m shocked to find a room filled with whips and crops, torture devices of all types. I start to turn and leave but he blocks the way. “This is the surprise I wanted to show you, baby. I want to show you how good pain can be.” Before I can protest, he’s pushed me toward a high bench that I fall onto with a grunt. Before I can get my feet under me, he’s clamped one part of the apparatus around my left ankle and is working on the other. I start kicking to get him off me and he’s laughing as the clamp snaps shut on my ankle. I start screaming and he moves before me. Before I can close my mouth, the gag is in place and being tightened. Shaking my head violently, I scream again, tears flowing from my eyes as I start grabbing him awkwardly, pulling him toward me so I can try to get some leverage. The bench has me draped over it like a wet cloth, pressing hard against my belly and I’m terrified. He grabs one arm and wrestles it into the clamp, finally getting it in and snapping it shut, placing a padlock through the holes to secure me. I’m quickly subdued and, breathing hard,  sobbing, I am captive.

He chuckles as he looks me over, sweat dripping from him. “This is how I like you best, my slut. Oh, wait… there’s too much hidden. Whatever shall we do about this??” He asks this as he walks toward the wall full of things I’ve never seen before. He takes down a pair of shears and comes to me. Standing next to me, he begins cutting away my jeans.

After cutting all my clothing off, he caresses my ass and presses his hardness against me “I’m going to show you things you never dreamed of, Angel” I wanted to tell him I had seen this before, that I needed him to stop, but the gag kept me silent. I’m starting to panic because of the first memory to come to my mind. The memory of my dead trick and the days of thinking I was going to die.

His hands caress the globes of my ass, lips caressing my back and sides as his hands find my heated center. Fingers slide inside me, caressing my clit till I’m moaning with desire. Sometimes I hate how easily I’m brought to a full boil no matter what’s happening! He’s murmuring as he works on me, commenting on how sexy I am, how he’s dreamed of today since the first time he laid eyes on me. I’m responding to him with squirms and moans. e moves away from me and takes something off the wall that looks like some sort of clips. crouching before me, he grabs one of my breasts and suddenly I’m experiencing one of the worst pains I have ever felt as he clamps one to my nipple, then the other. I scream in pain as he moves behind me, the chain between my hanging breasts swinging and tugging painfully.

Moving behind me again, he caresses my body with something soft and furry for a bit. He moves to the wall again and takes down a riding crop. I wonder what he’s going to do with it!? He rubs its tip down my spine then, with a crack, I feel it like fire across my ass cheeks. My head raises as I scream again and again, the crop lashing over my ass. “Each lash is for each day you shunned me, slut. I TOLD you that you would pay.”

Stars are invading my head by the time he stops. I’m drenched in sweat and breathing hard, laying over the bench weakly. He then kisses my ass and strokes the welts that are across my flesh. His fingers again caress my clit and, somehow, the pleasure begins to overcome the pain slightly and I’m squirming, then writhing and crying out passionately when my body erupts violently. His cock replaces his fingers and, with each painful, pleasurable stroke, I’m brought to rapture again and again till he fills me full of cum.

He releases me, helping me off the bench and I collapse in his arms, the world going black. I wake moments later with my head in his lap and a warm, soft blanket covering me. His whispers reach my ears before I open my eyes and I’m shocked by his words. “Wake my little slave, my slut. Wake for me and show Master some love” My eyes open and, looking into his eyes, I’m overwhelmed with emotion. I slip from his lap and turn, tears flowing “Why did you do that to me?” “Did you not like it? You seemed to…. after a while…” His fingers find my throbbing nipples and I’m instantly wracked by an orgasm, my body falling forward impulsively, my passionate cries filling the small room.

He chuckles and caresses my head gently “I think your body betrays you, my little beast.” I pull away and growl, breathlessly “Stop that!” He grins at me and gets up. As I kneel on the floor, not trusting my legs, he comes to me and slips a metal strip around my throat. As I ask him what he’s doing, I hear a snapping lock. I crawl away from him, reaching to my throat and feeling the cold metal warming quickly to my body temperature. “What the fuck is THIS??” I cry, looking at him and trying to pull the thing from my throat. With a stern look, he frowns and comes to me, striking me across the face with fist “you will call me Master, cunt. I now OWN you!” I’m laying on the floor, stunned and numbed by his words. Owned…. again…..

He grabs the collar and pulls me roughly to my feet before pulling me toward the other end of the basement. He opens a door and pulls me inside, stumbling. The room is dark and he pushes me in. My foot hits something as he turns on the light. I try to catch myself from falling but there’s nothing to grab but bars and I fall against them, face first. The clang of metal against metal jolts me and I turn as fast as possible, my left eye swelling quickly. He stands outside the black bars of the cage, looking at me “tisk tisk, I’ll get you some ice for that eye.” He leaves as I grab the bars, screaming at him to let me go.

By the time he comes back, I’m sitting on the floor of the cage, weeping. “Don’t cry Angel, it makes your face swell. Oh… I’m sorry, hard to tell with that eye like that” He hands me a bag of ice, wrapped in a towel. “Use that on your eye and I’ll go get you a pillow and blanket. Don’t want you getting cold”

He goes to a chest near the cage and pulls out a soft quilt and thick pillow then threads it through the bars to me. “There’s a bucket for your toileting over there behind you and I’ll bring you dinner, when I return.” I lift my head and look at him sadly “When will that be?” He reaches in through the bars and caresses my swollen face “Soon my sweet, soon” He rises and leaves, closing the thick door behind him.

Looking around the room, I realize it’s been sound-proofed. I sigh and lay down on the hard floor, wrapping the blanket around my naked body. Placing my head on the pillow, I wince from the pain of my cheek.  I think about Andy and cry softly, wondering if I’ll ever see him again.

Boss MAn asks me to go to a party with him after a few weeks and takes me out to buy a new dress for me. It’s a tight black dress, short to show off my thick, muscular legs that he loves so much. This will be our first time actually being seen together in public. He tells me to keep it “professional” and I smirk before saying OK.

We enter the room and, it seems, all eyes are on us. He spent a good amount of money on my hair and makeup so I knew I looked good. I kept a seductive air about myself, knowing how to get what I wanted from men. When I would catch the eye of a man, I’d smile endearingly, lips slightly parting to let my tongue slip over them, eyes slightly closed. I don’t know why this look works but, by the end of the night, I’d given my pager number to ten men and fucked three… for a price, of course.

~~~

Boss Man is getting possessive and wants me to stop working here. After closing one day, he said he has other plans for me now. He wants to rent me an apartment so he can come to me when he wants. He says I’ll never have to work again. I’m afraid he will want me to leave Andy and THAT ain’t happening. I tell him as much and he gets angry. He starts yelling at me and I start to leave, telling him it’s over if he can’t understand that he’s no more than my boss. He tells me he loves me and I stop at the bottom of the stairs. “Seems to be a problem then, Boss  Man because all you are is a trick. I’m your whore and nothing more. It’s over.”

I get into my car and he’s standing behind it, keeping me from leaving. I tell him I’ll call his wife and he moves away with an odd look in his eyes. “You’re still my whore, Angel… I WILL have you” I swallow hard and drive away. He’s scaring me. I watch the rear view mirror as I’m driving, hoping he’s not following me home.

I get home and tell Andy we have to leave, tonight, and why. He didn’t know about Boss Man and when he hears, he sits down and sighs. “I didn’t think you were making that much at that job but never thought to ask where the money was coming from. Well, it’s done and now he’s a potential stalker. I say we stay here and see what happens. At least till the first of the month” I nod, looking at the floor “are you mad?” He chuckles and pulls me into his arms “I knew what you were when I met you. I don’t expect you to change overnight. I love you and, as long as you’re safe, I can’t complain.”

And people wonder what I see in him…

That night, my pager goes off a LOT. It’s Boss Man calling.I ignore it and Andy finally turns it off around ten. He looks at me and laughs “Persistent fucker, isn’t he?” “You have no idea” I tell him as I climb into bed “You have absolutely no idea”

Next morning I get in the car and go to work, like nothing happened the night before. I’m hoping he has calmed down but when I get there, he’s giving me the silent treatment. During lunch rush, he comes up behind me and hits me in the back of the head, softly, and calls me knucklehead. I shrug it off and continue working. This turns out to be a daily thing, the swats and name calling. It’s irritating but not unbearable. I can handle him.

~~~

He sends my coworker home early one day a week later because it’s hailing and snowing and she has a long commute. I’m stuck here, with him, alone. We, silently, do the shutdown and I grab my coat to leave, only to find that he’s locked the doors. “Look Boss Man, I told you, it’s over.” I say as I turn from the door.

He’s standing there, looking at me weirdly. He walks toward me, talking softly “No Angel, it’s never going to be over. I know you want to be mine because you continue to come back, taunting me with your lips, your ass…. I must have you Angel. You’re my drug, I NEED you” I frown and sigh “I will not leave Andy, you know that.” “I know Angel and I don’t give a fuck. I’ve watched you and I know you and he don’t have sex. I wonder if he’s really your father because you are so young and he’s so… old. Be my kept woman and he can live there too just, when I want you, he has to leave.” His arms encircle me as I press myself against the door, listening. “Let me talk to him and see what he says, Boss Man. I won’t do it unless he agrees.” “Agreed” he says and presses against me. I can feel his cock straining against my belly. Groaning, I whisper “Unlock the door, Boss Man, please”  He kisses me hard as he unlocks the door “Till tomorrow then” He bites my neck hard then pushes the door open, watching me fall onto the concrete outside. I stagger to my feet and start toward the car, his words taunting my ears “Till tomorrow…”

~~~

My lips throbbing from his kiss, body squirming on the cold car seat, I drive. Not home, not yet. I drive to the truck stop and park in the lot behind the restaurant. I get on the CB in my car and ask if someone wants any company. Immediately there’s a reply and I go to his truck. I get in and he asks “how much.” I just grab his hand and drag him into the sleeper with “Just fuck me!”

We quickly undress and he ravishes me, biting me and slapping my face as he thrusts into me. I climax wildly as he chokes me. Finding myself feeling more and more aroused as his hands encircle my throat, I beg him “Harder, God, choke me harder!” His thrusts get harder with the tightening of his hands and I’m seeing stars when the biggest orgasm I’ve ever had rips through my body, my screams of delight stifled by his thick hands.

Afterward, we lay there in his ice-cold sleeper, sweat dripping from us both, the windshield fogged thickly. He looks at me with wonder and shakes his head “Damn, and I don’t even know your name!” I chuckle breathlessly “Angel, baby….. Midnight Angel on the CB.” “You around much” He asks “Not too much, I just needed a cock today… you don’t mind do you?” He lays back, laughing hard “Hell of a time to ask THAT!”

~~~

I’m taking a shower when Andy gets home, my body still throbbing from the trucker. He sits on the toilet and we talk about the day, minus the trucker. He asks me if I want to be a kept woman and I laughed “Well, a free apartment and money to fuck a man occasionally… what’s not to like?” He’s quiet for a long time and, as I’m rinsing my hair, I hear him say “if it’s what you want” His voice so sad that I almost start to cry. “Sweetheart, I want you to be happy too. Please, be honest, do you want me to do this?” He doesn’t answer so, I open the curtain. He’s gone.

“Come on dear, tell me, do you want this?” I ask him as I lay on the bed in nothing but a towel. He shakes his head “I can’t be selfish, Angel. He can give you something I can’t and I understand that. I just don’t have to like it.” I pull him to me and kiss his tenderly, tears in my eyes “I love you, Andy. No matter who rents my body, YOU have my heart, remember that”

Mardi Gras is something I wanted to experience at least once in my life. The colors, music, parades and food called me every year from across the bayou. Growing up, I lived close enough to know people who had gone but far enough away that I couldn’t go by myself. With my father, it was considered a heinous crime to even WANT to go because New Orléans was full of niggers and it was a nigger holiday.

 My father was part of  the local KKK group and we didn’t have many blacks in our town that I knew of. Honestly I don’t remember the blacks we had in our school except for one very tall girl who sang like nothing I’d ever heard before. My father caught me talking to her once and I couldn’t walk for two days after he got done beating me.

He beat us often, my brothers and I. Usually for trivial things we’d get beaten but the big things were overlooked. Once, I was caught by a security guard in the store near our house, stealing candy bars. They called my parents and I had to walk home, four blocks, knowing my father was waiting at home to beat me. When I got home, he sent me to my room to do my homework. It was never mentioned again. Shortly afterward, a month maybe, I was caught smoking in the park near our house. I ended up with a bloody nose, black eye and severe headaches for weeks after that beating. I was in third grade.

The little mobile home park we lived in for a while in Pasadena was situated near a XXX drive in theater. Behind our house was a large grassy area that was totally overgrown with weeds and trash. We’d made a fort among the trash and overgrowth and from the door we could see the screen of the theater. There were many nights when my brothers and I or my girlfriend who was 13, would lay out there and watch the movies. A few nights my girlfriend would masturbate while watching and taught me how to do it myself. She was the first female I’d tasted and the very first time I’d been gone down on. I loved the taste and feel of her body, her small breasts becoming larger, it seemed, overnight. I loved being held by her. She was so tender and sweet. I think I actually fell in love with her. When my father discovered us kissing in my bedroom, he forbade us seeing each other again. I was devastated and can only think this was a big part of the beginning of my lifelong depression.

When I met my best friend, I remember thinking she was totally awesome. We did everything together. We smoked pot, tried drinking, her for the first time, got in trouble, slept at each others houses, snuck off to the beach at night. I was a terrible influence on her

 I was in the same room with her when she lost her virginity. It was a shed we were in and we were separated by a piece of plywood. Steve and I were screwing like rabbits and I heard her crying, telling Walt to stop, he was hurting her. I told her to relax and the pain would stop, just breath and calm down. She quieted down and I kept fucking Steve. I knew if my father knew I was being fucked by a mexican, especially Steve, he’d be pissed. That just made it more important that I open my legs for him as often as possible. I often slipped out the window to have sex with him, walking a block from the house so my dad wouldn’t hear his motorcycle as we rode away.

Walt was the guy Barb lost her virginity to and I hear tell, 20 some years later, they are still together. If it’s true, I’m so very happy if she’s still happy with him. I miss her horribly as the years go by.

I walk down 30th street for a few  blocks and see a sign pointing to a set of stairs going into the ground. I wander down and am greeted by a toll station. I read the signs and figure out I have to take the N train. Why didn’t they just call them trains for heaven’s sake? I ask myself as I pay the toll and go through the turnstiles. I find a whole new experience awaiting me past those things! I’ve never liked basements but this was a whole train station below ground. I look around, dumbfounded as the train noisily screeches to a halt. I slip in through the open doors and find a place to sit among other passengers. Gripping the handrail, my breath is stolen from me as we head off through the dark tunnel toward Manhattan. So I hope.

I strike up a conversation with a woman nearby. She’s got a fussy baby in her arms and looks to be about my age. Turned out she was only fifteen and the baby was hers. Talking to her made me miss my little guy down in Texas. I made up my mind to go see him soon as I had enough money for the bus.

I’m fascinated by the subway. I’ve never imagined a train like this in my life. I start thinking about how people take this type of thing for granted. I’m lost in daydreams when the girl gets off and a man sits down beside me.

~~~~

Stepping into the darkness  from the subway and squinting as my eyes adjust to the change of light, I hear a man’s voice behind me. My blood turns to ice. It’s Hollywood and he looks pissed. Frantically I look for someone to help me. He grabs me by the hair and drags me into the alley as I scream for help. He drags me, screaming and scratching, behind a pile of trash where he slams me against the wall, face first. He’s growling at me and pressing my face against the bricks, my cheek and nose scratched by their roughness. He’s telling me to shut up or he’ll gut me, that I owe him money and he wants it. He’s growling in my ear now, asking me if I want his cock in my ass again, if that’s why I dissed him, because I wanted him mad like that. I’m sobbing now, begging him to stop, to leave me alone. A part of me is numb as the other part struggles against his grip. His body presses me against the wall and I feel his hardness against my ass, my now naked breasts pressed painfully against the bricks as well. He thrusts against my back as he’s talking, his voice growing lustful as he continues to grip my hair. I can feel blood trickling down my neck from the gouges on my cheek and I know, without a doubt, that he’s going to rape me again.

A mans voice behind us gets his attention and he turns with an animalistic growl. The man is softly telling Hollywood to let me go. Hollywood says he’s my pimp and the man needs to leave us or he’s a dead man. The man looks at me and frowns. I plead with him to help me but he turns and walks away. Hollywood turns to me again and shoves me into the pile of garbage. He lunges at me and tears at  my pants, trying to pull them off my flailing legs. I’m biting him hard, struggling against him, trash flying with each turn of my body. Something sharp bites into the back of  my left shoulder and stops me, momentarily. He takes this opportunity to strip my pants off and slip between my now naked legs. I pull my shoulder off the spike and wrap my arms and legs around him, pulling him into me suddenly. His thick shaft skewers me fully and I cry out in surprise. He ravages me, biting my shoulder as he rams into me with a grunt, my shoulder again impaled on the sharp object in the trash. He fucks me hard for a few minutes then pulls out and turns me over, shoving my face into the black bags of garbage. My hand finds the sharp thing and grabs ahold, pulling it from the depths of refuse. It’s a screwdriver with a flat tip, covered in blood.

He rams his thickness into my ass, my scream of pain muffled by the bags/ I can’t breathe because the bags are pressed against my face. I shove myself backwards to get a breath and he mistakes the movement for acceptance and grabs my hips. I pull forward fast and turn halfway over, his cock deep in my ass. With the screwdriver in hand, I swing my fist toward his face. The tip of the tool drives into his right eye and he screams in pain before falling backward. I stumble to my feet, looking at him as he screams. Someone comes running down the alley and I hear a police radio behind me. Everything seems to be moving really slow, like a dream. The officer rushes to Hollywood who has gone silent. He looks at me, questioningly and I fall to my knees, sobbing.

The ambulance screams into the night, its lights flashing into the distance as I answer questions shot at me by the officer. Yes I knew him, no it wasn’t consensual, yes he raped me, yes, no, yes, no all the questions answered in monotone because I’m in shock. I’m shivering though I’ve been able to at least put my pants back on, thankfully. The second ambulance arrives and they settle me onto the gurney as the officer continues asking questions. He gets done and tells the driver to go on as the doors close. The attendants are curtious and efficient, slipping an iv in my arm with practiced ease.

Soon enough we arrive at the hospital and I’m taken into a quiet room where they do a rape kit and tend my injuries, giving me a tetanus shot because of the wounds. My shoulder wound is irrigated and sutured shut. A code is called a few times while I’m tended to but the doctor doesn’t leave me till he’s done. His hands are warm and gentle, his face somehow familiar to me. I’m never alone here, they have a rape hotline volunteer with me. She’s really nice and offers to get me things after the exam is done.

The doctor says he wants to keep me in over night to keep me safe, if there are any problems with shock. They take me up to my room and the volunteer asks if she should stay. I tell her no, I was just going to go to sleep. She leaves and I drift off to sleep in the quiet of the warm room.

I’m watching cartoons and eating breakfast when the officer comes in. He turns off the television and sits on the chair by my bed. I can tell by the look on his face that something is wrong. He asks me a few questions about Hollywood then sighs before telling me that he was dead. I ask if I’ll be charged with anything and he says no, it was self-defense. He then asks me where I’m from. I tell him and he nods and says they will get me back to Denver and I can’t leave the hospital till they get me a ticket. I lay back after he leaves and think about what I’d done. I killed a man….

 The morning sun glistens off the water, shimmering diamonds of light bouncing off the roof of the car. I smile as one of many dreams has come true. I’ve seen the Lady and She is breathtaking.

  He pulls to the side of the road as I’m giving  the other riders a kiss, having spent five days in the van with most of them, I’ve come to think of them as friends. I grab my bag,  make sure everything is inside and hop out of the side door, calling out farewells and laughing. They drive away and I look around Manhattans busy streets, catching the bustle of daily life full force.

   I begin to wander and soon find myself in Times Square, gaping up at the tall buildings in awe. Sitting down on the railing of a subway entrance, I stare at the people, my small town mind awhirl. Not even Denver had prepared me for THIS. I am overwhelmed.

  Pretty soon I’m getting hungry and walk around to find something to eat. I find the Port Authority and spot a hotdog cart on the corner. I ask the vendor for a dog and he asks what kind of toppings. I look at the menu and laugh “Is there actually a hot dog on those buns?” “t the guy laughs “Yup, somewheres in there isa dog, just don’t go lookin for it or it’ll bitecha” I get one with “everything” and hold it in my small hands, I probably looked terrified because it was so HUGE. The guy and I talked between my bites and his customers.

  He tells me about a hostel close by where I can sleep in a room for thirty dollars a night “it ain’t much but ya don’t look like ya got much cash. What are ya, fifteen or so?” I shrug “Or so. Do they ask for ID?” “Yeah but you tell them Jim sentcha, he’ll fix ya right up” He answers. I thank him and head across the street, down a block and over a half block to the hostel. I get a room for two nights with the fifty dollars I have and make an arrangement with the manager for two nights “on the house” I head up to the room, take a long HOT shower and climb into bed. It’s 1PM and I’m beat. Plenty of time to find something to do after dark.

Hours later I wake, stretch and lay looking at the ceiling. It’s dark but I can still hear the traffic outside, six floors below my window. Curios, I slip out and over to the window. I open the blinds and am awarded the sight of a million jewels shimmering before my eyes. My window looks out over the street, filled with cars. I look at my watch and am amazed. Nine o’clock at night and traffic is at a standstill below.

  I slip into a pair of black slacks, a black lace top, sans bra and a white, button up shirt, unbuttoned. A pair of white sandals slipped onto my feet and the key to my room in my pocket. I put on my work face and slip out the door, catching the elevator to the lobby. I take my time leaving, looking over the grand entry before slipping into the chilly night.

I’m walking past open doors that reek of alcohol, neon signs touting nude girls and a theater, up to Times Square. I stand on the corner, marvelling at the lights of the square, reading the signs for the shows on the stages and imagining the ball dropping in a couple of days. I shiver as snowflakes begin falling lightly and pull my jacket tighter around me.

  As I stand there, looking, a man walks up to me and asks if I’m working. I giggle and say “Well, I wasn’t but if you’re looking, I’m working” He chuckles, takes my elbow in his large hand and leads me to a nearby hotel. We discuss the prices as we’re walking and when we get to his room, he hands me two hundred dollars. “um.. this isn’t the amount I said, Sir.” I say as I look at the money “I know, hun, but that’s the going price up here in New York for a sweet young thing like you. I know you ain’t of age and that costs more. I just giving you what I think you’re worth” He explains. “If you aren’t happy with me are you gonna beat me up or something?” I ask. He chuckles as he pulls me into his arms “oh, don’t worry. I’m going to enjoy you very much”

  He uses me for a few hours and sends me on my way with a hundred-dollar tip. Three hundred dollars in three hours. I’m VERY pleased with this and decide to see if I can find someplace to get something to eat. I find a chicken place on the corner that, amazingly, is open. I get some food and, as I’m standing at the counter eating, a black man comes up and starts talking to me. He introduces himself as “Hollywood” and tells me that he wants to take me to get a drink. I laugh and shake my head “I’m not old enough to be in a bar” He grins lopsided “I know, I’m talkin bout my place”

  After two drinks, I’m pretty drunk. We’ve talked for a while and he’s told me that he’s a pimp. He wants me to work for him and I laugh at him “Now what in the world do you have that I need to pay you for?” He grabs my hair and pulls me to him, his eyes hard as he growls “Either you work for me or I’ll beat yo ass, bitch. Hows that for somethin yo needin?” I whimper and nod, swallowing hard before speaking, my voice barely a whisper “Just don’t hurt me” He slaps my face hard with his free hand “DON’T be tellin me what to do, whore. You’re mine and I’ll do whatever I want. Got it?” I yelp and nod sobbing “Yes, please don’t hurt me!”

  Angrily he throws me to the floor and tells me to get undressed. I do so as fast as I can, holding my clothing to my chest and crying. He yanks my clothes from me and throws them aside “I wanna see you, slut, stop hiding yo fat ass.” He grabs my breasts hard, pinching the nipples till I cry out in pain then slaps me “Shut it, bitch. No screaming or I’ll give you sumptin ta scream about” He slaps my ass and stomach, telling me I’m too thick, that he’s going to starve me till I get in shape because no one likes a fat ass. He pinches and pokes for a while then suddenly grabs me, throws me onto the couch, pressing my face into the wall. He’s breathing hard and digging his fingernails into my scalp. I feel him moving behind me, his hands move to my ass cheeks. He spreads my cheeks and suddenly thrusts his cock into my ass without lube or warning. I scream into the couch, the pain so great that I throw up on the cushions.

  After he’s done raping me, he beats me for throwing up on the couch then makes me clean up he mess before he allows me to go take a shower. Before getting into the shower, I look at myself in the mirror. I’ve got a black eye starting and my bottom lip is split. I step into the shower and sit down gingerly, curl my arms around myself and cry.

After my shower, Hollywood looks at me with disgust and tells me to get dressed. He takes me to a seedy looking part of Manhattan where a number of girls are working. He tells me to get to work as he pulls to the curb. My quota? Three hundred dollars.

I awoke this morning with a memory of my life as a hooker. Not sure what sparked it but it’s a memory I long ago pushed to the back of my mind because of the horror of it. It’s not particularly gory but the fact that a police officer, someone that’s supposed to be the holder and protector of the rules could rape a handcuffed 17-year-old in the grass by an overpass was unthinkable  to me then. I thought I was fairly street wise by the time this happened but I never thought I’d be a victim. I was truly naive.

  Many things happened to me while I was a prostitute but none scarred me as this did. After his assault, he released me and left me to walk back to the city. It was the dead of night and I remember crying as I walked, blood drying on my battered face, my glasses broken and lost in the weeds of my assault, tears blurring what sight I did have. It was the longest walk of my life and it gave me time to think about my future. As my trembling legs carried me over the asphalt, I thought of what might have happened, how I could have laid in that field of tall weeds, dying instead of walking. I remember praying for the first time in my young life. TRULY praying to a God I didn’t really believe in. As cars passed me, I began to feel truly alone as I never had before. Did no-one see my plight, did no one care? I staggered and fell, weeping beside the road, skinning my knees to the bone as the sun began to light the mountains before me. I remember the feeling of peace and awe that overcame me as I knelt there watching the beauty lighting up as the beams of warmth hit my body.

   A truck startled me as it pulled up behind me, brakes hissing as the driver opened his door. An older man approached me, silhouetted by the sun. I couldn’t see anything but a blur of a man but his voice was soothing as he knelt beside me, asking if I was OK. I clung to this stranger as I’d never clung to anyone but my mother when I was a child. He lifted me and carried me to his truck where his wife was waiting. She was so sweet and gentle, wiping my face with a damp cloth as they took me to the hospital in the city, a half hour away. That beautiful couple stayed with me while the nurses cared for me and walked with me up to the room they put me in for observation. I never knew their names but they were my saviors that day and I never got to thank them for their kindness. Because of them, I know my life was saved that morning.

 I had internal bruises from the assault, a minor tear in some internal organs and three broken ribs. The doctors said it was truly a miracle that I wasn’t laying somewhere dead with those injuries. I silently thanked my Higher Power for helping me get as far as I did. When the police came into my room to ask questions. I freaked out. I just completely lost it, screaming and trying to get away from them, only stopped by the doctor coming in with a shot to calm me and three VERY large nurses. I was only able to talk to the detectives and only if they didn’t tell me they were police. It was years before I would trust another officer.

I was off the streets 6 months before its call became too much. I wasn’t addicted to drugs. yet. I was addicted to sex and money.